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Day job drama notwithstanding, this was a surprisingly unstressful weekend for me. I can never tell with my Friday-Saturday schedule, because it can either be slow and uneventful, or it can be ridiculously busy and chaotic, and rarely in between. In this case, both days were the 'in between' which is sometimes just how I like it. It keeps me busy but not exhausted, and the eight hours go by quickly. And of course Sundays are my 'do all the errands' day so after our trip to the farmer's market I've started the laundry, emptied the trash and will most likely do the PC cleaning a little bit later. Oh, and I really should dust this desk, as I keep forgetting to do so!

I've got a thin work schedule this coming week as well, so that gives me a bit of time to continue catching up with the writing, which is a good thing. I am now at the point in Theadia where I need to write the 'WRITE THIS LATER' scenes, and I'm thinking that instead of doing yet another reread and picking up each one as I go, I'll just jump in and write a rough draft for each scene and/or chapter. I can get away with doing this mainly because when I made each 'write this later' note, I added a vaguely detailed paragraph or two of what story beats need to be hit there. I've done that plenty of times in the past and it's worked well, so I'm not too worried. [The step after that of course will be finishing the novel itself, which is going to need some planning and outlining.]

On the personal end of things, I'm glad to say that my limb aches and pains haven't resurfaced as of late, which is always a good thing. For a while I had this weird thing where I'd constantly twist my leg slightly which would pinch some nerves in the process, but that seems to have gone away for the moment -- it's happened maybe once in the last several weeks. I'm thinking starting tomorrow I should restart a stretching regimen, though. It's been a while and I really should get back into the habit. Yay for getting old and frail! Thankfully, though, I'm still quite agile and my occasional walks around the neighborhood to the corner store or wherever keep me moving. 

Hope everyone has a good week ahead!

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The schedule for the Day Job continues to be all kinds of wonky with cut hours at the worst possible time of the year, so perhaps I'll need to speak with the boss again about getting more of them somehow, or alternately being a bit more active about helping me get a store transfer. I'm really not sure what level of management has made this decision or if it's due to the tariffs of The Fuckwit (yes, I still refer to him as that), but I can tell you that it's going to bite us in the ass if we hit peak Christmas volume with the slimmest of teams. [This is exactly what happened two years in a row back when I worked at Yankee, so yeah, I speak from experience.]

I'm not entirely thrilled either that I'm doing a weird shift today (another 12:30 - 9pm) but am a bit more thankful that it's all mornings next week. Still... going from 40 hours a week to 24-28 a week within the span of a few months is not a good sign. And it's not just me, I know other coworkers who are getting their hours cut...but I'm also seeing newer hires getting more hours as well, so I'm also inclined to think that the secondary problem is closer to home and not being given the proper attention. And to be honest, I'm really getting tired of being the only one to bring it up with the boss all the time.

ANYWAY. November is coming up fast and I'm trying to do my best at raising the bar with my creative endeavors. It's been a few months since our Big Move, and I'm itching to get back to my blogging, journaling and writing schedule, not to mention actively looking (no really, I mean it this time) into other outlets I'm interested in and could possibly expand on. Instead of deciding this deep into the final weeks of December, I figure this time out I'll prep myself a few months ahead of time, that way when the new year kicks in, I'll be up and ready to go.

Time will tell...
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Oh hi there! It's Sunday afternoon, which means it's time for my usual weekend errands of laundry and gardening (today was a community garden clean-up day, in which A and I spent some time picking up trash and also cleaning and reorganizing the sheds so they're less of a hot mess). We got home just in time for us to get our awaited IKEA delivery (a drying rack for A's knitting and a storage caddy for the laundry room).

It was also high time for the PC cleaning. I've been forgetting to run the cleaner software as of late, so said PC was quite happy that I gave it a very thorough once-over this time. It definitely needed it, especially since I've been doing a lot of file reorganization, Plex server updatery, and writing work! I also never turn it off (mainly because of the Plex so others can access my entertainment collection), but it's something that should be done now and again. What I'm delaying, however, is the latest Windows 11 update, because a) I really don't need it, and b) if I did update it, I'd then need to dig in and turn off the stupid AI crap that I definitely do not need nor want. It's not a critical update, so I'm going to avoid it for a long as I can. Or at least until I have the spoons to do the settings adjustments.

In reading news, I have been obsessed with the manga and anime The Fragrant Flower Blooms with Dignity lately. It's firmly placed in Everything Is So Dramatic levels of teenage drama, but I appreciate that because the story precisely about dealing with that kind of stuff as a teen. It's very well written and each character has their own fleshed-out backstory and conflict to deal with. And it's also a really sweet love story as well. I highly recommend it.

In health news, I think I've FINALLY shaken this stupid cold/allergy, though I'm still getting stuffed up every now and again, including today. I'm just not continuously clogged as I was last week, however. Meanwhile, I have been feeling rather tired a lot lately, and whether that's due to Day Job Stress/Overwork or said congestion keeping me up at night, I'm not sure. Maybe both. I don't feel it's a major worry, but at the same time I am keeping an eye on it just in case it becomes one. Besides, I ain't as young and agile as I used to be!

In writing news...I'm just a few chapters shy of being caught up once more with the latest revision of Theadia. Which means I have two things to do staring soon: one, I need to go back and start writing the 'WRITE THIS LATER' gaps, and two, I need to actually, y'know, finish the dang novel itself! I've been working on this one for quite some time now, but I'm really excited about it as well, and that's always a good sign. I'm still roughly on schedule for "sometime next year" as its drop date. I might even look into commissioning a cover for this one! Heh.

And finally in Day Job news...well, let's just say there's still a lot of Hurry Up and Wait in regards to wanting a transfer. Right now there's a lot of Managerial Drama and Metrics Obsession going on which is taking precedence, as well as Holiday Season starting up. I'm a bit annoyed that I've been put on the backburner because of it all, but there's not too much else I can do except occasionally poke at the main players and remind them I'm still there and waiting. I'm also still a little annoyed about the lower hours, but I'll set that particular commentary aside for now.

In the meantime, Sunday also means Sunday dinner, and A is currently making beef stew which has the entire house smelling amazing right now.


Hope everyone has a good week!

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Despite my ongoing daily frustrations at the Day Job, I will at least be proud of the fact that I'm doing pretty good with working on Theadia! I still have a long way to go, but this current go-round is looking a hell of a lot better than I'd hoped. I'm hoping I'll be close to done by the end of the year, or early into the next, depending on how much more work I need to do. There's the final chapters to write, and the 'WRITE THIS LATER' scenes to write.

That, and I've been doing some thinking about what other creative outlets I want to work in in the next few months. More on that soon...
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It may have been a very weird and stressful couple of weeks at the Day Job for me, and there may have been a few very low points of self-doubt where I felt like I was digging myself deeper, but thankfully those have been balanced out by much higher points of creativity and calm. I will soldier on one way or another, and I still have my writing to keep me centered. I've learned from past experience when I feel like I'm about to spiral into constant frustration and/or anxiety and know well enough to retreat to safer mental ground. 

So where do I stand right now, creativewise? I'm doing pretty good with Theadia, though I do seem to be piling up the multiple 'WRITE THIS LATER' chapters and scenes that I'll need to work on. I don't do that very often, but then again this book isn't quite like the others I've written, and like Diwa & Kaffi, I'd like to get it right the first time. I'm also tentatively restarting the 750 Words sessions, though I've already missed a few this month due to prior plans and/or personal stuff going on. I'm not too worried about that, however, as I figure this will be a trial restart this month, just to get back into the habit and to get it up and running again.

Other than that, I've just been very tired from the Day Job nonsense and and ongoing strain in my left elbow for some reason (though I'm sure that's just from overuse and bad posture). I'm going to take the few days I have of this week and relax physically and mentally because I think I need it right now.
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It seems calling out on Monday was a good idea, because I was extremely burned out. I stayed at home and didn't do much of anything other than a bit of writing and reading, and by the afternoon I felt a lot better. I also had a good rethink about why I was feeling so exhausted, and I'm pretty sure it was day job related. There's been a few things happening that I was letting get to me in a rather unhealthy way and it just kind of all came to a head over the weekend. Long story short, I've decided I'm going to just stop getting angry about the consistent lack of assistance and the frequent assumption of managerial status from a certain coworker. I'm still annoyed that they've fucked with my pay and I'm hoping it will be rectified very soon, but I'm not going to ragequit or let it eat at me as much.

More to the point, I've decided that I need to reapproach the day job the same way I did during my years at Yankee Candle. The day job is the day job and I should only put in what I feel I want to put into it. My main focus should always be with the writing -- the day job is the day job, the writing is the career, after all. It's time to dial it back a little and rebalance my priorities here.

In other news, I've resurrected the longhand journal and the 750 Words sessions again, and the poetry/song writing might make a reappearance in the near future as well. Why? Well, because I want to, which is a fine enough reason. I'm sort of giving myself a trial run during these last few days of the month with the aim to be more consistent about them in October. We'll see how that pans out...
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I have today off so this morning I headed over to Kaiser and got my combo flu and Covid shots. I figured I'd get it out of the way early this year so I don't need to worry about it! I've always had a bit of a bad habit of putting things off (not a terrible habit, just one that I've used more often than I'd like and mostly out of laziness and/or distraction), so lately I've been making sure I'm a bit more aware of it. 

Speaking of fixing habits, I'm still trying to get myself back into the daily writing thing -- I mean, other than working on my current revision projects. I really should go back to the journaling, at least. Doing that often got me into the mindset for writing each day, not to mention it being a bit of therapy to get my thoughts in order and lighten the mental or emotional burden.

Still, the only downside to wanting to do that is the near-inability to do that during work hours. I just do not have enough downtime, unless I take major steps to work on such things outside of the store. I mean, I'd really like to return to sketching out ideas during quiet moments on scratch paper, but there's more to it than just that -- I've also got to unf*ck my other terrible habit of Overthinking My Notes. I don't even remember where or when that started (I'm thinking it was at some point around the end of my time at the bank). And that's been a hard one to break.

Maybe what I need is a main focus. Decide on one specific project to work on and filter all my creative thoughts while I'm at work towards that one point.

Something to think about, anyway.
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Everything is back to semi-normal here (though there is some IRL fuckery going on that I'd rather not get into here on the blog just yet). The day job is the day job, the writing is the writing. Everything seems to be in a state of movement, which is always better than a state of stall, yeah? I'm back to almost forty hours at the day job again, and Theadia is coming along quite nicely.

Speaking of which, this current go-round is including my inserting a few [INSERT NEW SCENE/CHAPTER HERE] placeholders. There are a few secondary characters I never got around to expanding on who I think could be useful for the grander plot, so I'm giving the novel a bit of breathing room to give them a bit of stage time. I'm taking my time with this one, so if I don't quite get it out on schedule, I'm not going to worry. I really don't want to do this one half-assed.

OH! And speaking of writing, I finally got the rough POD ARC for A Division of Souls (the remaster), and it looks REALLY good! I'm quite glad Draft2Digital is providing this -- and via a much easier process than Amazon/Createspace, I should add -- so once I give it a final go-over (and fix any last-minute issues), I'll have it up and available to buy in print! Woo! 

And following up on that, I've also prepped a new copy of The Persistence of Memories for remastering, which I definitely want to have out by 2026. I think this one will need a bit less polishing than ADoS did, but considering it's my favorite in the trilogy, I'd like to make sure it's also just as tight and up to current standards! More on that soon enough...
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Good question, considering I've had the last several days off! It feels weird having this many off in a row, but I've been keeping busy-ish. I've gotten a lot of house cleaning done! I still have a few things to do here and there, but the laundry is finished, dusting and swiffering have been done, groceries have been purchased, the garden has been watered, and the cats have been given more than enough attention throughout the day. I've also gotten a significant amount of revision done for this go-round for Theadia, which includes making much more detailed notes in the few "write this later" chapters I need to insert!

Mind you, I have most of next week off as well (this time on purpose, we're taking a few personal days off), so it feels kind of weird to not be at work so much. I'm pretty sure I'll be exhausted again once I'm back to full time hours again.

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I have been SO exhausted lately, and I'm not sure if it's allergies and the change in the weather (SF is suddenly experiencing warmth and sun for the first time in ages) or that I've just been spreading myself far too thin lately at work. A bit of both, perhaps. I won't bother you with the details, just that I left early today as I was pretty much running on fumes. Thankfully I have tomorrow off so I will spend the day chilling. [I have my two bookkeeper opens Friday and Saturday, but those don't tire me out even though I wake up early...I'm too busy sitting at a computer processing things!] I have no other plans except heading over to PetSmart to pick up some litter and check out a replacement cat tree for the older one that's falling apart. Oh, that and continue doing a bit of writing work!

Meanwhile, Outside Lands is this weekend, so I've a feeling there will be all sorts of nonsense going on. The volume at the Day Job wasn't too bad last year, as it was mostly people buying stuff for home partying or pre-show get togethers, but we shall see. I'm more concerned about some idiot parking in front of my garage door (which we will gladly have towed at the owner's expense) blocking me in or out. The sound might be a bit louder I think, considering the performers that will be there, but we shall see. Thankfully they still stick to the 10pm shutdown, and that's right about the time we finally turn out the lights.


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 I'm kind of in an interstitial space right now creatively, I think. I've mentioned before that I've stopped performing a lot of the habits I'd had over the last several years in Spare Oom -- the whiteboard schedule, the logging of the word count, writing at 750Words, and so on. The main reason I stopped is that I wanted a fresh start here at the New Digs. For the most part it's been a positive choice as I haven't felt the stress of not hitting scheduled goals. It's helped me focus on current projects with more clarity.

Not that I'm complaining, however. I like being here at this time, because it means that I'm breaking away from old habits and yet to forge new ones. I'm allowing myself to try new things and approach current projects in a slightly different way. Perhaps this is why I'm also allowing myself to indulge in a wave of comic reading on Hoopla these last several weeks...I get to try something new, see what inspires me.

I suppose if this stage is anything like the one I had during the Belfry Years, this will (hopefully) mean that a lot of positive creativity will come out of it.
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Okay, so I think I can finally sign off the Remastered Edition of A Division of Souls (a month early! yay!), which means I can now get back to working on Theadia. Woo! I'm still a bit nervous that I may have forgotten something important like proper formatting or missing a really stupid and obvious typo, but I think I've caught all the ones I'm going to catch this time out. More important however is that I fixed a few minor continuity and clarity issues that had always bothered me.

This of course is going to mean that I'll have to figure out how I'm going to promote this thing. I don't want to just throw it out there and say 'have at it' and get nothing in response. Which means I'll be spending most of August creating different possibilities. I've also pulled the physical copies from Amazon as I no longer want them available there when I can have them done POD through Draft2Digital where all my other novels are. That'll be something for 2026: how to make my works available in physical form through that platform.

Anyhoo, I'm crawling back to normal creativity once again, and that's good enough for me!
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Woohoo! I'm finally DONE with the remastering work for A Division of Souls (that is until I do one last reread, heh), so now I can shift all my creative focus back on Theadia! I'm looking forward to starting in on it again, especially now that I have a clearer head and a few really good ideas on how to rework it into the style I want. I've given myself until late 2026 to finish it, so I've got a year and change to make it happen. I'm pretty sure I can do it, considering these days the first drafts of my novels take maybe a few months at most. [It's still kind of weird to say that. Each book in the original trilogy took about a year, while In My Blue World took three months.] 

Whether or not this one will expand into a duology or just be a very long single volume, we shall see...
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Even though my weekends are pretty much only a day and a half of free time (I open Saturday mornings and get out at 2pm), I'm happy with the fact that I still manage to get a lot done in that time! And I even got to sleep in this morning!

Yesterday we headed over to the Petco to buy a new cat tree as the old one is getting quite worn out and flimsy (verdict: Jules is quite happy with it, but Cali is yet to give it much attention). This one has a slightly different footprint so we were able to slide it up against the window, giving me a lot more room behind my desk chair and the ability to access my filing cabinet. And as for today, we did a very-much-needed trip to the grocery store (not mine, but an affiliate) to restock. The great thing is that we're both under the same corporate umbrella so my hard-earned rewards points and associate discounts work there as well, and we ended up saving a ridiculous amount of money. Sweet!

And now it's time for me to get cracking on the writing session. I'm about twenty pages from finishing off this cycle of 'remaster' revisioning of A Division of Souls, so I'm well ahead of schedule for getting this one ready for release. Go me!

The rest of my week isn't so bad...there's only one midshift this week and the rest are opens, and I have Thursday off in which to relax a bit before A and I go on a little midmorning roadtrip down the peninsula to a lovely garden park!


Unbalanced?

Jul. 9th, 2025 03:42 pm
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Lately I've been feeling, well...not distracted, but not necessarily overwhelmed either. Despite all the political fuckery going on (and boy howdy do I have thoughts on that), I've been trying my best to approach all that in a different way. It certainly does bother me, and not a day goes by when I don't mutter some version of goddamn I really fucking hate conservatives right now under my breath, but I'm trying to get out of a very longstanding and extremely unhealthy habit of emotionally reacting to it with undirected dread and anxiety. I'm accepting that it's there and it's happening, I'm just trying not to spiral like I used to.

But it's not really all that, either. Part of it might be that I'm still getting used to living in our New Digs and getting used to not being at the old place anymore, but I think most of it lately has been on the creative end of things.

It's not that I don't want to work on this Trilogy Remaster -- I've been wanting to do it for a good couple of years, to be honest -- but more that I feel like I haven't been completely honest with my writing career these last few years. Like I could -- like I should be dedicating more time and energy to it than I have. Granted, I'm getting older and I can't really stay up until 2am doing five hour marathon sessions like I used to, especially since I have early morning Day Job hours. But I just feel like it's been ages since I've taken it as seriously as I used to. Phoning it in sometimes, doing the bare minimum, throwing my books out there with zero follow-up.

So what's the plan, then?

That's a good question indeed. The plan is something I think I'll need to work on over the next few weeks or so.
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Ouch! I was a dumbass earlier today at our community garden while trying to back up with a wheelbarrow full of pulled greenery and completely forgot there was a wooden stump seat right behind me. Yep, I went ass over teakettle and landed on my back, but not before hooking my foot around the wheelbarrow's handle and rolling it. I don't think anything's broken as I can walk on it and put a bit of weight on it, it just feels very sore right now and I'm trying to stay off it as much as I can. I though I'd heard a snap when it happened, but I'm thinking (and hoping) that was just me falling onto the wood chips and not any actual bones fracturing! Yeesh! Well, we'll see in a day or so...

Other than that, we spent a good couple of hours pulling out the old fava bean stalks after a final and very fruitful yield, cut back a few things and pulled whatever else had gone to seed. We'd stopped at the garden center at the southwestern end of town to try out our latest summer crop of things -- lettuces, beans, squash, tomatoes and flowers -- and we're hoping that we won't get hit with another wave of feasting gophers this time...! We'd originally planned on redoing the wiring underneath the plot, but due to other Real Life Things going on, we figure we'll try to do that at a later time when we have more money and patience!

In other news, I've been doing yet another reread of Theadia and I am not the least bit surprised that this story is a bit close to home right now in the current climate. Mind you, it was supposed to do that (I'd started writing it during the Fuckwit's last administration), so I'd like to think that's a good sign then. I'm hoping to get back to it very soon after I finally finish off the remastering of A Division of Souls, which I'm hoping will be within a few months or so!
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 [Pasted from my Welcome to Bridgetown site]

It’s been a wild ride of just over fifteen years here in Spare Oom. All those hours working remotely for the Former Day Job. All that music streamed, downloaded, listened to, cataloged and shared. Cats coming in to visit, play and nap. Books read. Characters and maps drawn. Word seeks completed. Guitars played and playing styles honed and songs written. Views of the Golden Gate Bridge to gaze at when I needed a mental break from it all.

All those words churned out on the 750Words site. Numerous blog entries on two separate sites. Personal journal entries scribbled into notebooks. Trunked ideas gathering dust in my Dropbox. The moment I finally finished the Bridgetown Trilogy after a multi-year hiatus. The decision to self-publish my work. Learning how to properly edit my own work. Learning how to create e-book covers. Seven completed and self-published novels. And another one started and eventually making its way to publication.

Some days I felt like I was wasting time and getting nothing done, other days I felt like I was kicking ass.

It’s been an interesting time here, and now it’s time to shut down the PC and pack it up along with all the externals and other hardware, because it’s heading over to the new place tomorrow morning.

See you on the flip side.

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After all this wait, all the paperwork and the banking and the scheduling and rescheduling and info updating and everything else, we'll have finally fully moved into our new home come Tuesday! It's been such a weird and wild and extremely exhausting couple of months and I've completely lost track of time to the point of what day it is half the time. I'm finally on a full week's vacation where I can focus on the final couple of 'soft moves' (moving the small and fragile stuff, storing new purchases, setting up new furniture and whatnot) without juggling it with the Day Job.

This however doesn't mean that I'll be able to sleep in most of the days because a lot of our plans involve early or midmorning things to do like meeting up with our soon to be former landlady for a final walk-through and having the place cleaned, and most likely a lot of unpacking in the next several days after that. Still, I don't have to worry about any eight-hour shifts on top it all!

And after all that, I'll hopefully be back online and blogging and writing on a regular schedule soon!
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...until we officially move into our new place! I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. It's not helping that I feel like I've been putting off all the packing even though I've done quite a large amount of it (and tossing/donating) already. It's also not helping that the Day Job has had some of its busiest days in months these last couple of weeks. I'm deliberately running on half-speed to conserve energy -- I'm not as fast at work so I can keep some of that oomph to move boxes and bins over to the new place.

We've also been doing a lot of shopping lately, buying stuff for the new place. We've even gotten ourselves a membership to Costco after all these years! Not that we're about to buy Armageddon Preparation Size boxes of cereal mind you, just looking for good deals on things we frequently use and need like household stuff. We're also buying things other than bookshelves (heh) at Ikea for storage modules we will need. We're trying not to go overboard considering we're moving into a slightly smaller space and there's only so much space for storage, but being smart about the space we do have is important. I will be heading to said Costco later today to pick up some storage shelves for the garage.

And INTERNETS! As of yesterday we are all wired up at the new place so that's one more thing to cross off our to-do list. Yay!

I am a little worried about some of the stuff we're getting rid of, though I'm hoping that won't be too much of a problem. We'll be getting rid of our old Dyson vacuum cleaner which we've had for almost 20 years that STILL runs perfectly (not bad for a refurb at that) which I'm sure a neighbor will yoink. The living room couch is going to be tricky, though. It's the one we bought from Home Reserve, known for their really good durable furniture that comes in boxes that you put together yourselves. I want to see if one of our neighbors wants it first before I put it up on FB Marketplace. I'd rather someone take it because aside from a bit of wear and sun fade, it's still in great condition, but if we have to toss it, at least it's gotten sixteen years of use!

I'll be honest, what's bothering me the most is that I'm barely getting any writing work done. I'd packed all my notebooks and brought them over to the new place so I haven't done any journaling in ages. I might squeeze in a few pages of revision and editing on the trilogy remaster, but that's about it. I just haven't had the time. I'd expected this and I'm using the time as a bit of a vacation from all that, but I am SO itching to get back to it once we've moved.

On that note, I have today and tomorrow off and I'd better get moving. Still using pockets of time to rest and relax, but I still have a lot to do.
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Not sure if it was a cold, or allergies, or both, but I'm finally seeing the end of it after two weeks. I was either constantly nose-blowing, congested, or coughing, and it would wake me up constantly in the middle of the night. And thankfully this morning I woke up feeling surprisingly rested with a much clearer head. The sniffles are still there but at slight allergy levels now, and I haven't had a scratchy or phlegmy throat since yesterday, so I'm hoping I'm on the mend.

It did take a bit of wind out of me, but I had the foresight to use whatever energy I had post-work (or pre-work) to focus on the Trilogy Remaster, and whip off an easy 750Words entry. That was about it, however, so my blogs fell by the wayside. Hopefully this coming week I'll be back on track there.

Thankfully, next week's work schedule is going to be mostly opens which means I'll be able to catch up a lot easier and not have to shoehorn too much work in not enough hours! I just have the one midshift (plus a bonus sixth day to cover the other bookkeeper on Sunday, but that should be uneventful). I've got today and tomorrow off, and I'm using the time to sleep in, catch up and relax a bit.

Hope everyone has a good week!

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