Unbalanced?

Jul. 9th, 2025 03:42 pm
jon_chaisson: (Default)
Lately I've been feeling, well...not distracted, but not necessarily overwhelmed either. Despite all the political fuckery going on (and boy howdy do I have thoughts on that), I've been trying my best to approach all that in a different way. It certainly does bother me, and not a day goes by when I don't mutter some version of goddamn I really fucking hate conservatives right now under my breath, but I'm trying to get out of a very longstanding and extremely unhealthy habit of emotionally reacting to it with undirected dread and anxiety. I'm accepting that it's there and it's happening, I'm just trying not to spiral like I used to.

But it's not really all that, either. Part of it might be that I'm still getting used to living in our New Digs and getting used to not being at the old place anymore, but I think most of it lately has been on the creative end of things.

It's not that I don't want to work on this Trilogy Remaster -- I've been wanting to do it for a good couple of years, to be honest -- but more that I feel like I haven't been completely honest with my writing career these last few years. Like I could -- like I should be dedicating more time and energy to it than I have. Granted, I'm getting older and I can't really stay up until 2am doing five hour marathon sessions like I used to, especially since I have early morning Day Job hours. But I just feel like it's been ages since I've taken it as seriously as I used to. Phoning it in sometimes, doing the bare minimum, throwing my books out there with zero follow-up.

So what's the plan, then?

That's a good question indeed. The plan is something I think I'll need to work on over the next few weeks or so.
jon_chaisson: (Default)
...I just don't want them to be based on passive internet scrolling anymore, is all. A suggested I try out Squaredle, which is basically word game site should keep me busy and occupied during my work breaks. That's all I ask for. I did buy me a crossword puzzle book but it hasn't been doing the trick (especially when I'm having a busy day and don't want to think), so maybe I should put one of my word search magazines in my bag instead. 

But yeah, the Day Job has been a bit chaotic these last couple of weeks, between the bad weather, the good weather following, the upcoming holiday (Valentine's Day) and today's football game, not to mention being short-staffed due to scheduling and/or call-outs. I've been rather exhausted by the end of the shift after trying to keep everything running smoothly. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't (and sometimes I wonder why I bother). Hopefully next week will be significantly less nutty.
jon_chaisson: (Default)
I've been doing a lot of rereading of Queen Ophelia's War these days. When I get in to the 'constantly rereading my WIP' segment of a novel project, that means that I'm relatively okay with the draft I'm currently working with, and this is the one I can use as a master to work on overdubs, edits and additional vocals. Which is a good thing, because I've been hoping to get this one out sometime early next year.

Thing is, what I haven't been doing is actually working on the damn thing. Part of it is because I've been distracting myself with blogging and other things. I haven't necessarily been putting it off as I haven't really made all that much effort to try and get somewhere with it. I've just decided to go on a blog hiatus for at least a month in the hopes that I'll get off my arse and get moving on that right away. [I'll still work on the daily 750 as that doesn't take all that long for me and I kind of see it as a warm-up before the actual work. And besides, I'm still writing and not doing something else like playing games or futzing around with my mp3s, right?]

I haven't been reading all that much this year either. I've mentioned much earlier that I think reading that Big Honking Two Volume Beatles Book exhausted me mentally, but come on -- it's been a good number of months so there's got to be another reason why I'm just not resonating with any books these days. I did distract myself recently by reading the full run of the Gunsmith Cats manga on hoopla (as mentioned, I'd forgotten how horny that one could be at times, heh), and the occasional manga catch-up, but that's it. I've got Karen Lord's latest next to my bed with two of her previous books in the same universe to reread, and I'm hoping that might break me out of this slump. We shall see.

Anyway, it's far past time for me to get work done again.
jon_chaisson: (Default)
 Thankfully my cough and congestion lasted a mere couple of days and I was back to work on Friday. Speaking of which, my hours have been cut back a few per week and I'm only doing about 30 - 32 rather than the 35-38, and I have it on good authority that it's basically just that time of the year when it quiets down a little bit. There aren't any major holidays coming up until Easter and Memorial Day that would affect a grocery store. Which is fine with me as I'm still getting over thirty hours, they're glad to have me there, and our store is actually one of the better ones in terms of sales! 

Also in the day job universe, glass cases have now been installed on sections of two aisles. One is the biggest improvement: the hard liquor that wasn't already locked up. [The usual cast of idiots would always hit our vodka, whiskey and tequila but rarely anything else.] The other, as you will probably have already guessed, is the toiletries such as meds, detergents and cleaners. It's kind of sad that so many stores have had to do this, even despite getting security as we have, but we're doing out best to make the wait as minimal as possible. We still get so many customers coming in saying how much they love our store, and I've even gotten personal thanks from a few who thought we did an ace job helping them.

Meanwhile...I'm still working on the social media detox. It's gotten to the point on the phone where I uninstalled one of the web browsers and removed one from the screen. I do find that the Out of Sight Out of Mind Method of avoiding distraction works pretty well for me, so let's see if this works. It's another thing entirely here in Spare Oom, but I'll figure out something. There's also the issue of Avoidance here at the PC -- I know I need to work on the MU4 project, like, NOW, but hey maybe I should blog first or wait time for dinner hmm I should probably clear out my emails oh damn it all it's 8pm already too late to start anything.

Time to remind myself: just shut the f*** up and DO it already!


Anyhoo...hope everyone has a good week ahead!

jon_chaisson: (Default)
 Okay, I really need to detox from the Birdsite, and I just fell right back into the doomscrolling, didn't I? *sigh* Let's try that again. Go cold turkey if I have to. I mean, let's think about it here: most everyone I come into basic contact with is either here, on FB or on Discord, yeah? Maybe a few friends here and there on Twitter, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I need to passively pop it open every damn time I go on break at work. I've just temporarily removed the shortcut from my phone (I didn't actually uninstall it), so maybe that'll remind me that I need to stop looking at it.

It's not as if I'm using it to disconnect from the Day Job, I've merely fallen into and stayed in the habit of reading it every time I go on my breaks. 

So what should I use for a distraction, then...?

Good question. Can't really bring a book because I don't really have the room for it in my lunch bag, unless I bring my Nook. Which means I'd need to decide on an ebook to read at some point, yeah? I already have a small notebook in said back that I'm supposed to be using for writing-during-break reasons.

Or I could, y'know, always go outside if the weather's nice. Or even then, I could hang out near the steps to the roof parking lot if the weather's not so nice. A few of my coworkers go up to the roof for their breaks. A few others who smoke head to the receiving dock to light up (this includes both of my managers, heh). A few of them who drive head out to their car and chill. Either way, I want and need to utilize those ten-minute breaks AWAY FROM THE INTERNETS. (Unless said internets are being used to read an ebook or access my Dropbox folders for writing stuff.)

One of these things should work. I just need to, y'know....DO it.
jon_chaisson: (Default)
I probably should be concerned that I'm working on Diwa & Kaffi Revision Version 2.1 at a snail's pace, but that's because I've been semi-distracting myself by watching BBC's Gardeners' World with A in the evenings. It's a distraction, yes, but it's a rather enjoyable and relaxing one, even if my thumbs are nowhere near the color green. Besides, the level of productivity has shifted back and forth since I started it. I'll get through a huge segment quickly one day, only to slog through five paragraphs the next. It happens.

Anyhoo...new month, new attempt to return to schedules. I'm trying to be good and get back into the habit of exercising in the morning. Just a few stretches and crunches, but I've noticed that doing it every single day has in fact shown results, so I may as well get back into it! I'm also trying to get back into the Daily Words again. Inspiration has semi-struck, so I'm curious as to where this will all go.

Other than that, not too much to report. Hope everyone has a good Fourth of July!
jon_chaisson: (Default)
Not too much to report here, as it's been a relatively quiet weekend.  Went to the Legion of Honor Museum yesterday morning to see an exhibition about Casanova (yes, the real one), and the paintings and other fripperies that went on during that time.  We were also going to go to a bouquet exhibition at the de Young Museum in the park, but alas, by the time we got there, there was absolutely nowhere to park.  (Thankfully the tickets were free so no money lost, though it would have been nice to see anyway.)  Today we went over to the Haight, and a tasty brunch, and then hung around at the book store and at Amoeba.

For some reason lately I've been feeling like I've been getting fuck-all done.  Sure, I'm working on the Apartment Complex story on an almost daily basis, but I've been missing a few Daily Words sessions, and I've just decided to take the week off from blogging at the two WordPress sites.  I'm not exactly tired, really.  I don't feel exhausted at all.  I think I'm just in need of getting my shit together, is all.  And to do that, I need a good fresh start.  Mind you, having to head to Concord for part of the work day on Thursday (and then going to the movies that same evening) is going to put a damper on a lot of things.

So I figure -- instead of calling this a week off from everything, I'm just slimming back, clearing my head, getting things cleared out of the way, and starting fresh next week.  Which, I should add, is totally clear, per my calendar.  I'll still pop back here on Wednesday (that's if I don't forget, like I've been doing lately).  Hopefully by this time next weekend, I'll be back on the horse and ready to go.

Hope everyone has a good week!
jon_chaisson: (Default)
No, Jon.  Making plans to get stuff done today and then doing the exact opposite is NOT what you should be doing.  Eesh.  You're done distracting yourself?  Good.  Now GET TO WORK YOU LAZYBUTT.

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