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jon_chaissonWhew! Finally got a decent amount of sleep last night! And it looks like I'll be able to catch up this week as I don't need to get up early until Friday. This of course means a few midshifts, but it is what it is and I'm not too worried about it. The only downside is that my right ear has been feeling stuffed up lately, and I think it's probably because of my recent allergies. It's only that ear, and it's only when I'm lying down, so perhaps taking some Benadryl before bed one of these nights might do the trick.
I'm making good on my previous entry about just doing what I can do creatively and not worrying about doing all the things. Interestingly a reel popped up in my Facebook feed that made a lot of sense to me in regards to all of this -- it's not so much laziness that's causing this procrastination but a mental 'safety' response. Somewhere along the line my Mental To-Do List started feeling overwhelming, but not because there were a lot of things there; it was that somehow I'd gotten into the habit of 'things I must do soon' = 'must avoid this to retain my sanity' with a sprinkle of 'oh hey this fun distraction (music library, webcomics, social media) is a lot less mentally taxing, let's focus on that instead'.
The fascinating thing is that I understand this, and I've ALWAYS understood this, and it rarely ever bothered me in the past...so why now?
I think part of it was the ongoing stress of the day job before I got my transfer, along with some other personal and real life stuff going on that just dogpiled on me over the last couple of years, and I got sloppy about letting it get to me so easily.
That's not to say everything is magically fixed, of course. More that I have a better understanding of it all now, and I'm more aware of how I can navigate this going forward.
I'm making good on my previous entry about just doing what I can do creatively and not worrying about doing all the things. Interestingly a reel popped up in my Facebook feed that made a lot of sense to me in regards to all of this -- it's not so much laziness that's causing this procrastination but a mental 'safety' response. Somewhere along the line my Mental To-Do List started feeling overwhelming, but not because there were a lot of things there; it was that somehow I'd gotten into the habit of 'things I must do soon' = 'must avoid this to retain my sanity' with a sprinkle of 'oh hey this fun distraction (music library, webcomics, social media) is a lot less mentally taxing, let's focus on that instead'.
The fascinating thing is that I understand this, and I've ALWAYS understood this, and it rarely ever bothered me in the past...so why now?
I think part of it was the ongoing stress of the day job before I got my transfer, along with some other personal and real life stuff going on that just dogpiled on me over the last couple of years, and I got sloppy about letting it get to me so easily.
That's not to say everything is magically fixed, of course. More that I have a better understanding of it all now, and I'm more aware of how I can navigate this going forward.
