Drunken Owls and Other Delights

So for the first time in a number of years, I've chosen not to do a year-end mixtape or best-of list. I went into this a bit over at Walk in Silence, but the tl;dr is that it had nothing to do with the music and all to do with my own lack of connection with the new releases. Don't get me wrong, there were a LOT of really great albums and singles that dropped...but I'd just been too distracted to let any of it stick with me for any length of time. I'm a bit bothered by that to tell the truth, because that's not my normal state of musical obsession. The distraction was that in itself: I was too obsessed with the acquisition and not enough with the enjoyment, and I want that to change.

The interesting thing is that I came to that realization when I was making the mixtape soundtrack for Queen Ophelia's War. My aim for that mix was to recreate the moods I'd find myself in when I'd listen to bands like Cocteau Twins back in the day; something that would take me on an aural journey and spark my imagination and creativity. And in the process, I'd realized that I'd been so focused on picking up new things that I'd lost that drive to find music like that. Quite some time ago, actually. 

So that's one resolution for the new year: to appreciate what interests, inspires and influences me for more than a few dopamine-fueled moments. I want to go back to that, not just because it's pleasurable but because it's what drives me as a creative person. 

Speaking of dopamine-fueled moments, tonight is when I'm finally putting my Twitter into cold storage. Short of deleting it all and someone possibly yoinking my handle, I'm just putting it on complete lockdown and posting maybe once in a while to remind others where I can be found. I'll skip on describing how much interest I've lost in it over the last couple of years and just say that I have no real use for the site anymore. Most of my writer and IRL friends can be found elsewhere these days, anyway. One less thing to distract me, really.

So. Any other resolutions?

I'd like to walk to/from work more often. I stopped only because we'd had a long stretch of crappy weather followed by the exhaustion of Christmas Retail. And maybe head to the gym again? It's been far too long. I'm in pretty good shape these days considering how much walking I do at work (I can log 3-4 miles just in one eight hour shift some days), but there's always room for improvement. I still want to be more flexible, however. I know I'm getting older and my joints are getting a bit creaky, but that's no reason not to try to work on keeping in shape, yeah?

I'd like to continue working on having a healthier emotional outlook. I've been doing pretty good lately but I do still slide into bouts of complaining about stupid things (work, annoying people, Republicans, etc.) and when I'm sick of my own complaining, that's a good sign that others are probably sick of it as well. Not that I'm aiming to be insufferably chipper or being the peacemaker all the time, far from it. Just working on knowing the difference between when it's warranted and when to Let It Go and Move On.

I'd like to work on rekindling my love for other creative outlets, namely music and art. I've been focusing so much on my writing for so long that the other two have fallen by the wayside. I have art supplies gathering dust here in Spare Oom. I have guitars here that are dusty and out of tune. I have a keyboard here that's currently used as a storage shelf. I was thinking it's time to relearn how to play piano -- I know the basics thanks to lessons when I was a kid, but I'd like to be able to walk up to a keyboard (or a piano in the park when they have them) and play something impressive instead of just a passing line or two. Will I find the time? Well, I have to make time for it, won't I? Otherwise they'll never get started!

There's more I'd like to do, but I'll get into them at a later date here.

In the meantime, wishing all of you a hopeful, creative and peaceful 2024!

 I'm not looking at this as a problem per se, just something that can be adjusted. I've always been terrible about delaying things, be it homework or simple errands. Most of the time it's me just distracting myself and half-seriously saying 'I'll get to it in a moment' (where 'in a moment' = anywhere from a few minutes to several hours). 

Today I needed to do a few errands (get quarters, drop something off at UPS for A, and buy a few ingredients for a post-Thanksgiving dinner) and it took me until after lunch to get to it. Granted, it's my day off from work and I allowed myself to screw around for a while, but I kind of had to give myself a hard nudge to turn away from my distractions and do them. I still need to make corn muffins for tomorrow, however. And I was hoping to catch up on my blogging and maybe even make a mixtape or two (finally) so that I can spend tomorrow not having to do anything but hang out and enjoy the day.

That's one of my resolutions for 2023: work on the delays. Again, I'm not looking at it as a problem, only as an adjustment. 

Happy New Year for those already celebrating! :)

I'm looking forward to starting up the new writing schedule and working towards the goals I've laid out for myself over the last few weeks.  I've spent the last few days planning it all out and I'm eager to get started already.  Over the years I've learned the best way for me to do this is not to assign specific deadline dates but to give myself certain 'beats' to hit along the way.  It's essentially focusing on all the smaller related goals that bring me closer to the the bigger main one.

On a more personal note, I think my aim for 2018 is to continue keeping myself positive whenever possible.  Not blissfully ignorant, of course.  But not letting the bastards grind me down anymore...I think I finally understand how that phrase resonates with me on a personal level.  (Well, I've kind of understood it for years, but never really put it into full practice.  But that's another blog entry entirely.)  I'm pretty much my own worst enemy when it comes to distraction and procrastination, and that needs to stop, both on a creative and on a personal level.  If that means continuing to avoid pointless conjecture and doomcrying on social media, then that's what I gotta do.  It's a crazy world out there, a lot of stupid shit going on that can bother the hell out of me, but I'm done with being a part of the echo chamber.  If positive means finding an answer to the problem -- even and especially if it's unorthodox but will work -- then that's the way I need to go.

But yeah...positivity, forward motion, clear goals.

Lots of stuff to do in 2018.  *rolls up sleeves*  Let's get started.

Welcome 2014! Here's to hoping all of you have a great banner year, and hit as many goals as you can, whether they be creative or otherwise!

I'm going to be pretty busy this year, as I've given myself quite a number of goals that I want to hit. I'm content with my output from 2013 and found that I could handle it if I put my mind to it, so I'd like to ramp it up a little bit this time out. I spent a lot of last year fine-tuning a lot of things in my life, basically being more aware of my thoughts and actions, putting more focus on what I want to do, and filtering out a lot of the noise and the distraction. I'd like to continue that and move forward this year.

That's the theme for me this year--forward motion. :)


On a more personal note (and related to the filtering process), I've chosen to be more positive this year. Not blissfully oblivious, of course--more like deciding not to dwell on frustration as much. I don't externalize it all that often, and not nearly as much as I used to, but I still slip with the occasional rant now and again. That's the thing--if I need a release, I can always write it out in a personal journal--which I used to do back in the day anyway, back before the soapbox thing called the interwebs--there's a lot I don't think I need to share with others. I'll know if I ever do, but for the most part if all I need is just a release, I can keep it private.

Health is also going to continue being a big thing. We got a bit lazy over the last few weeks and skipped out on going to the gym, but I'm sure we'll be picking it up again quite soon. I've also been visiting the dentist--something I haven't done for a number of years--and would also like to make it a habit heading to the doctor for a checkup as well. I'm in much better health than I was in the past, but I think it would probably be good to see where I stand and what still needs to be adjusted.

Other than that? There's always time for upgrading, fixing, and everything else. Time to make it happen. :)


More on the writing goals in a later post today! :)

So ends another year.

Okay, there's one more day to go, but that last week after Christmas always seems to be more of a denouement rather than a big finish. It's when everyone takes stock in what they've done over the past year, what they've achieved, what they've missed out on, and what's still on their bucket list. Some people only think about it in passing, making vague plans or thinking about general aims rather than concrete ones. Others go into minute detail, mapping out exactly what they're going to do and when. I do a bit of both, come to think of it--I plan on going to the gym more, but I also plan on finishing the revision of A Division of Souls and getting it out in 2013. I plan on doing a bit more cooking, but I also plan on taking an evening class or two. This coming year promises to be full of interesting things.

( Short retrospective bit about cleaning out the attic in 2012 )

That said...

I have resolutions for 2013!

Writing.
This coming year looks good for me. I'm about a third of the way through the revision of A Division of Souls, and I seem to be getting more done at a quicker pace now. I figure by Q3 I should have it done and ready to go. So this means that in Q1 and Q2 I'll start doing a bit of agent and publisher research and shopping around and prepare myself for the big sendout. And when that happens, I'll start in on the revision of Book 2.

I'm going to try and squeeze in another project this time, something that won't be a main focus but something I can work on "on the interim" during afternoons or something similar. I'm not sure if it'll be a new project or if it'll be one of my backburner projects, but I want to have something going, even if it ends up being more of an exercise than a full-blown project. I need to dust off the ol' noggin and get new words flowing again. It's been too long.

I've lapsed a bit on the poetry, since I ended the Dreamwidth project earlier this year, but I'm going to start picking that up again. When I assigned myself to write a poem on certain days of the week like I did a few years back, it was a fun exercise and I think I got some decent work out of it, so I'm thinking it's time to do so again.

Also, I will continue on the Walk in Silence project. I've let it lapse a bit lately so I can play catch-up with ADoS, but I have some 2013 plans for this one. My aim is to reserve weekends for this project, so I can spend a good chunk of time focusing on it, while the weekdays stay reserved for the Eden Cycle revisions and the possible new stuff.

Lastly, chances are good I may need to buy a new laptop, as I'm not feeling good about getting my current one fixed (I'm not complaining about the place I brought it to, he's actually quite a nice guy and does good work--it's more that it died only after a year and he's having problems finding replacement parts already). Not sure what I'm going to get, but I'm open to Windows 8 and touchscreen...as long as it has MS Word, a few USB ports and a cd drive, it's all good. [Note: I don't plan on getting Apple products for personal tastes and reasons, so no need to try to sell me on it. Just sayin'. ;) ] I'd like to be able to sit out in the living room with Emm while working instead of holing myself up in Spare Oom all day and night.

More on all of this come January 1, when I update my whiteboard.

Creativity.
So I received a Wacom Splash tablet and a Korg Monotribe mini synth for Christmas (thanks to my sister and Emm, respectively). Looks like 2013 is going to be ridiculously productive! I've been meaning to pick up the drawing and the music playing again in a more substantive way, and now I have two toys that will help me reach that goal. The drawing will most likely yield more results sooner, since the tablet is ridiculously easy to use and I've had a ton of fun with it already. The synth might take a bit longer as is a bit confusing to use, but I should be able to figure it out after a bit of playing around with it (that's how I learn most instruments anyway). I'm planning on getting some multitrack audio software at some point as well, so you might see me posting some homemade tunage some time down the road.

Health.
Despite our recent lapse in going to the YMCA (holidays and a business trip will do that), the both of us plan on getting back on that bandwagon as soon as we can. Basically we'll just be continuing our ongoing exercising, so this is more of a reminder than a resolution. Walking around the neighborhood on weekends continues as weather permits, of course.

On a more personal note, I think it's high time I had a physical checkup, as it's been way too long since the last one. I feel fine other than the usual aches and pains of getting older--in fact, I'm in much better shape than I was five years ago, so this would be more about seeing where I stand healthwise and seeing if there's anything I should do or at least be aware of. I'd also like to make a trip or two to a local dentist/orthodontist to get some work done as well. I'm not in pain, but I do need the cleaning and perhaps a new crown or two.

Work and Education.
Short version is that I'm about to start actively looking for a new job again, after taking some time off from doing so (partly due to no bites, but partly due to a work-related project that I ended up having quite a big hand in--who knew that I'd actually become an SME about OFAC regulations and check printing?). Still debating on what exactly I should look for. However, part of that debate will also lean on a few things: I'd like to find one of those professional job placement places in town, just to see where I should be jobwise. There's also the fact that I'm thinking of looking into some adult education courses for things that might help this future trajectory. Not sure where I'm going here, but I'm glad I'm in a position where I'll be able to do this.

Financial.
I've been sitting on my rollover IRA from Yankee Candle for too long and not putting any money into it or moving it around, so it hasn't really been making any money over the last few years. I think it's high time I started putting more money into it and reorganizing it, or maybe even moving it into another institution. I actually have some background on this from my old position at the bank, so it's not as if I'd be going in blind.

Lifecleaning.
Over the course of the last few months, I've been doing a bit of sorting and cleaning here and there, digitally and otherwise. Getting some things in order, finishing other things I've put aside. It's slow going, but I try to get some of it done on a daily if not weekly basis. I still have some papers and items to sort through, scan, shred, and whatnot, and I still need to bring quite a few items to Goodwill and books to bring to the Fort Mason bookstore. But other than that, I'm finally getting a lot of it in order to the point that any other cleaning is at the point of upkeep rather than getting things in order.


So that's my 2013 plans in a nutshell. A lot of stuff planned or scheduled to unfold, and I'm definitely looking forward to it.