Drunken Owls and Other Delights

So for the first time in a number of years, I've chosen not to do a year-end mixtape or best-of list. I went into this a bit over at Walk in Silence, but the tl;dr is that it had nothing to do with the music and all to do with my own lack of connection with the new releases. Don't get me wrong, there were a LOT of really great albums and singles that dropped...but I'd just been too distracted to let any of it stick with me for any length of time. I'm a bit bothered by that to tell the truth, because that's not my normal state of musical obsession. The distraction was that in itself: I was too obsessed with the acquisition and not enough with the enjoyment, and I want that to change.

The interesting thing is that I came to that realization when I was making the mixtape soundtrack for Queen Ophelia's War. My aim for that mix was to recreate the moods I'd find myself in when I'd listen to bands like Cocteau Twins back in the day; something that would take me on an aural journey and spark my imagination and creativity. And in the process, I'd realized that I'd been so focused on picking up new things that I'd lost that drive to find music like that. Quite some time ago, actually. 

So that's one resolution for the new year: to appreciate what interests, inspires and influences me for more than a few dopamine-fueled moments. I want to go back to that, not just because it's pleasurable but because it's what drives me as a creative person. 

Speaking of dopamine-fueled moments, tonight is when I'm finally putting my Twitter into cold storage. Short of deleting it all and someone possibly yoinking my handle, I'm just putting it on complete lockdown and posting maybe once in a while to remind others where I can be found. I'll skip on describing how much interest I've lost in it over the last couple of years and just say that I have no real use for the site anymore. Most of my writer and IRL friends can be found elsewhere these days, anyway. One less thing to distract me, really.

So. Any other resolutions?

I'd like to walk to/from work more often. I stopped only because we'd had a long stretch of crappy weather followed by the exhaustion of Christmas Retail. And maybe head to the gym again? It's been far too long. I'm in pretty good shape these days considering how much walking I do at work (I can log 3-4 miles just in one eight hour shift some days), but there's always room for improvement. I still want to be more flexible, however. I know I'm getting older and my joints are getting a bit creaky, but that's no reason not to try to work on keeping in shape, yeah?

I'd like to continue working on having a healthier emotional outlook. I've been doing pretty good lately but I do still slide into bouts of complaining about stupid things (work, annoying people, Republicans, etc.) and when I'm sick of my own complaining, that's a good sign that others are probably sick of it as well. Not that I'm aiming to be insufferably chipper or being the peacemaker all the time, far from it. Just working on knowing the difference between when it's warranted and when to Let It Go and Move On.

I'd like to work on rekindling my love for other creative outlets, namely music and art. I've been focusing so much on my writing for so long that the other two have fallen by the wayside. I have art supplies gathering dust here in Spare Oom. I have guitars here that are dusty and out of tune. I have a keyboard here that's currently used as a storage shelf. I was thinking it's time to relearn how to play piano -- I know the basics thanks to lessons when I was a kid, but I'd like to be able to walk up to a keyboard (or a piano in the park when they have them) and play something impressive instead of just a passing line or two. Will I find the time? Well, I have to make time for it, won't I? Otherwise they'll never get started!

There's more I'd like to do, but I'll get into them at a later date here.

In the meantime, wishing all of you a hopeful, creative and peaceful 2024!

...and as you know, by "Best Laid Plans" I mean "I have a fantastic idea that I'm going to implement immediately *crash* *implode*" plans, especially when I jinx them by talking about them online before I've even put them into action.

ANYWAY! I had a nice talk with a creative friend the other day that had me thinking: The Daily Schedule has been working wonderfully since I implemented it a month or so ago. I don't follow it to the letter, but nor do I completely ignore it unless I have a good reason (such as being on vacation or on an outside errand or New Music Release Friday) (heh). In fact, I've noticed I've been starting a few of the items earlier than scheduled lately because I've wanted to do them right away. For example, writing in my personal journal has been at 9:30 am for ages but I've been hitting it closer to 8:30 am because I just want to get the creative day started. Conversely, I find that if I start my morning writing session at the scheduled 10:30am, it feels too l late and I've wasted enough time already.

Point being, it's been going so well that a) I should update the Daily Schedule, and b) I think I can ramp it up a little more.

This means reimplementing the whiteboard calendar schedule. That for the most part has been kind of quiet on purpose as I had myself get used to focusing mostly on the Daily Assignments (so to speak). In other words, I'd focused one day at a time to get used to the micro part of my productivity, and now that I've got that down, I can return to adding focus to the macro part of it as well.

The whole reason for all this isn't necessarily to Do All the Things, even though it seems that way. The primary reason is to Get Better At It. I've gotten so much better at my writing over the last ten years and I'm quite proud of that, but I still want to get better at the music and the art, especially in certain facets of it where I can use it for Career Purposes. Better short stories so I can submit them to magazines and anthologies. Better photography so I can upload pictures to Shutterstock. Better artwork so I can create a portfolio for storyboarding work. Better music so I can write better songs to share. 

What's so different this time out, though? Didn't I go through this multiple times in the past? Well, I think this time out it's because I think I've managed to purge the admittedly toxic mindset ingrained in the past me that I Must Be The Best At It. Somewhere along the line I picked up a bad habit that I had to go further, go bolder and louder in order to be bankable. You can kind of see it in the Bridgetown Trilogy, in which it's such a BIG STORY that keeps expanding and getting bigger as the story goes on. (The released versions have been tamed back considerably from the rough drafts, but you can still see it in places.) 

Right now I'm thinking, you know, maybe I don't have to crunch everything I do? All I really need to do is write a good story, a publishable one, I don't have to break my back and brain and pour 1000% into it every single day thinking I have to win a marathon every single time. I can have fun with it too! And more importantly, focusing on the same task for six or seven hours at a stretch is actually quite exhausting, especially a creative task. So working on multiple projects -- the photography, the music, one scene each on multiple works in progress, a for-fun 750Words entry purely for working out ideas or playing out new ones, an occasional poem, and keeping up with submissions and freelance work -- doing all that over the course of eight or so hours isn't so bad. Some of it's fun, some of it's deep-focus, but doing that over the course of one day is something I can do (and have done before).

Also, let's lay this out now: I need to be busy so I'm not fucking around online wasting time. Not that I'm spending my entire day ragetweeting or watching cat videos or whatever, just that I'm still feeling the occasional level of distraction that I can do away with. I don't need to disconnect the internet, nor do I want to; I just need something else to occupy my brain when things slow down, otherwise I get physically and mentally lazy. I'm pretty sure part of that is an undiagnosed-ADD thing, and assigning myself things in this manner is the perfect workaround. It's worked in the past, so I know it'll work now.

So are you going to see more DW posts than just on Sundays? Maybe? Perhaps not right away as I get used to a heavier load, but who knows. You may even see a return of the twice-a-week blog posts over at Welcome to Bridgetown and Walk in Silence! 

And now that I've posted all this, I'm waiting for it all to implode on schedule. Heh.

In the meantime, hope everyone has a great week! :)

Happy Winter Solstice!  Yay for longer days ahead!  It's surprisingly clear out in the Richmond this morning, and a bit chilly.  It was in the mid-40s when I woke up this morning and it's getting ever so slightly warmer, but I've got the heat going.  All the Christmas shopping is done, the packages from friends and family have arrived, and we don't have anything else planned other than going to see Into the Spiderverse in Japantown later this morning.  Other than that, we'll just be doing a lot of relaxing.

It does feel weird to be coming into the last-week-and-change of the year.  December flew by so quickly!  I'm not exactly complaining, mind you.  I did get a lot done, prepped myself with future plans, and so on.  There's only a few things left for me to do: coast through the last few days of year for the Day Job (which I'm hoping will be deadski) and make my end of year mixtape and best-of lists.  I may even do what I've been threatening to do the last few weeks: do a bit of a book purge!  I need to clean up our bookshelves in Spare Oom as they're full to overflowing with books I haven't read in years.  (And speaking of cleaning up, I think I need to tidy up Spare Oom closet as well.  There's a lot of my crap in there I could get rid of as well.)

But yeah...lots of long term plans being put in place for 2019.  Looking forward to them.


Hope everyone has a relaxing weekend!

I'm glad I decided to take a few weeks off from blogging and other things, as I definitely needed it.  I let myself mentally calm down a bit and focus on the important personal things.  I hated that I also had to do it due to Day Job stress, but I'm (hopefully) past that avalanche of work and I don't have to worry about it for now.  Everything is relatively back to normal, so I'm going to return to our Regularly Scheduled Blog Posts.

[Speaking of Day Job: I haven't heard a peep yet out of the official move-back-to-office date, which is also relieving stress, but I'm too nervous to say anything about it for fear that I'll jinx it. *knocks on wood*]

 The job search has been interesting.  Due to being so busy the last few weeks I haven't submitted my resume nearly as much as I'd like to, but I've at least sent it once or twice a week when I find a posting that intrigues me. Right now I'm getting email notifications from a few websites (including Google itself -- and I've had some good hits with it!) and now and again I'll pop onto a corporate website and check their Careers links.  I haven't had any responses as of yet, but I'm giving everyone a bit of a buffer time here, considering it's holiday season.  I'm sure I'll hear from someone eventually.  [I'm still seeing a number of those particular jobs posted, so I'm going to assume this is the case.]  

Once I finally switch jobs, at that point I'll finally start implementing more changes to my life and writing that I've had in mind.  Once I'm settled, then I can figure out a new writing regimen; I can figure out when I can hit the gym, when the insurance kicks in, and all that.  I'm planning on 2019 being a year of personal change.

Anyhoo!  Hope everyone had a peaceful Thanksgiving weekend, and has a good upcoming week!

Just a few more days until vacation, woohoo!  Can't wait!

Had my midyear conversation with my boss at the Day Job and it got me thinking again about future plans.  More to the point, thinking about the Day Job finally, after far too many years, being the writing career.  It got me thinking about multiple things, really:  the reason I've had a purposely mindless Day Job over the years in the first place (stable income, paying off bills, etc), why I hadn't yet made the jump to self-employed (stable income, paying off bills, etc...but also learning the craft to a much higher degree), and so on.  I think the most obvious reason is that I just couldn't afford it.  That reason always aggravates me on a deep level (which I won't go into at the moment)...but recently I've come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, if I make a solid plan, start networking, and stick at it, I can finally do it.

It's not that I hate the Day Job...I think it's just that I now feel that while it's steady income, it takes away from time that could be better used on what I really should be doing:  writing, offering writing services (including basic editing and formatting), offering book cover services, and the occasional short-term assignments out there.  It's something I very nearly did when we first moved out here to CA, but fell by the wayside once the national economy tanked.  It's been too long in between.

Anyway.  Time to look into this a little further.

Other news: I finally got around to collecting what I have so far of the Apartment Complex story, and much to my surprise and glee, I'm already at 54k words!!  This is from three months' worth of writing five times a week.  Not bad at all!  I think it's probably going to be around 80k from my guess, and will be firmly placed in the YA Fantasy genre.  I'm actually becoming quite proud of this particular project, for multiple reasons.  One being that I was stubborn enough to keep at it despite multiple failed attempts!  I'm looking forward to releasing this one in early 2019!


Hope everyone's having a good week! :)

The weather's been kind of odd here in the Bay Area as of late, kind of warm but not? It's pretty much clear skies out there right now, and it was cool but pleasant when we walked up to the bank earlier today.  But given that Spare Oom faces north and thus doesn't get any sun at any point in the day, it's one of the coolest rooms in the apartment.  I had the window open briefly to get some fresh air in, but had to close it as my fingers had started feeling numb from the cold!

Anyhoo...I've been keeping myself busy for most of the week while A was away on her mini-vacation.  I've been continuing on my run of dealing with small errands and Stuff I've Been Putting Off in lieu of spending all that time writing and whatnot.  I'm okay with that, considering that I'm not exactly wasting time doing frivolous things.  Just getting things cleaned up, put in order, and so on.  I'll most likely keep up with that for the rest of the month, just so I have a shorter to-do list come January. 

So yes...as a matter of fact I do have a few ideas of what I want to do with 2018.  I suppose the phrase du jour for me is 'upping my game'.  Not so much with the writing process -- I think I'm FINALLY at a level I'm happy with and can consider professional -- but with the business end of things.  It's something that kind of fell by the wayside in '17 due to writing and editing priorities, so that will take a much higher priority come the new year.  Still not entirely sure how I'm going to approach it, but I'll definitely be more proactive about it.  As A once said, the "I've tried nothing and it doesn't work" is not being proactive.  So yeah...that's another reason I'll be kind of low-key about writing projects until the new year, so I can get a head start on this stuff.

Looking forward to a busy, productive, and proactive 2018. :)

It's been a busy couple of weeks here as I finalized the work for The Balance of Light. I took a few weeks off from blogging and doing other writing-related work so I could focus all my attention on it, and I'm glad to confirm that THIS PROJECT IS *DONE*. Well, okay, there's the reformatting for the print edition, building up advertising and promotion for the trilogy, plus creating and ordering freebie stuff like bookmarks and postcards for future use at cons, but that's all post-production. I can finally say with conviction that I can sign off on the Bridgetown Trilogy. No more pre-publishing work, no more rewriting or revising*.

Most importantly: the ebook edition of The Balance of Light drops on 10 February! You can order it here at Smashwords. :)

My feelings about this right now are kind of interesting. The sense of relief isn't all that strong, as it's overshadowed by pride that I got it done, and completely on my own. There's a stronger urge to keep my current energy and say 'OK! What's next?' This is what kept me working strong during the original writing. I'm tempering it by reminding myself that I don't need to do All the Writing at Once...I'm already working on the outline for Meet the Lidwells! but I'm also relaxing and taking time to enjoy other things. Picking up my guitars more. Working on art. Stuff like that.

I've been thinking about changing up some habits and activities, now that I have the the time and the inclination. I know I've talked about this many times before, but I think I can truly say I have time for them now, now that this major long-term project is complete. More on this at a later time.

In other personal news, I admit I stalled out on the politics on Twitter and FB. I haven't given up or become complacent, far from it...I just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere with it. In other words, adding to the noise but feeling like the only result was annoying people who read my feed. [I could be wrong about this. But I think on a personal level my words there just didn't have enough strength, or at least not at the level I was aiming for.] And on an emotional level, I was starting to exhaust myself, and that's never a good sign. I'm taking time off from that to figure out what I could do that would make a difference. More on that at a later time as well.

So now what?

Well, for this afternoon, I'm going to watch my beloved Pats beat the Falcons in the Super Bowl. And that's pretty much it. :)


*Okay, there may be some editing work done on future editions, but I'm not going to think about that right now.

Still a bit behind on writing here, but it's moving forward, so that's a good thing. I admit to being lazy this weekend, partly due to a lack of sufficient sleep (I keep waking up every 2 hours or so for some reason, even if I take melatonin). I also seem to be having a lot of weird dreams lately with OCD themes to them, in which I get frustrated because things aren't 'just right' or other people are not quite doing things to spec. I figured it might be work-influenced, due to the fact that I do tend to be a bit OCD with that job because I kind of HAVE to, but that rarely influences my dreams. I'm thinking that it might actually be due to my recent attempts to kick my thought processes to a faster speed again--that is, making a determined effort to ramp up the creative output, which is in effect causing my brain to not want to slow down at night. I have also been reading a lot on my Nook just before bed, so perhaps doing a bit of analog reading from my TBR pile might calm it down some.

Anyhoo, aside from missing a few days recently, I've been doing pretty good staying with my writing/art/music schedule. This month is pretty much a practice run for what's coming up next year, so it's something to get used to. I'm making a few adjustments here and there, thinking of ways I can utilize time and creativity to my best advantage...when to sneak in morning words during the work day, prompts for mini-projects and exercises, reading more for inspiration and learning, things like that.

Of course, December is also the time for my usual end-of-year posts, in which I wax nostalgic about what went on over the year, what I might have learned...and of course my music posts as well. I'll be posting the music posts over at the Walk in Silence blog as usual, but will link them here and elsewhere as needed. I should probably post the end-of-year writing posts over at Welcome to B-Town as well, shouldn't I? Those two blogs are in need of some love and updating again. Either way...expect an uptick of year-end review posts from me within the next few weeks!

Okay! Time to get back to my usual Sunday afternoon of listening to A Prairie Home Companion, sorting through my emails, and sneaking in some writing stuff at the end of the day!

So ends another year.

Okay, there's one more day to go, but that last week after Christmas always seems to be more of a denouement rather than a big finish. It's when everyone takes stock in what they've done over the past year, what they've achieved, what they've missed out on, and what's still on their bucket list. Some people only think about it in passing, making vague plans or thinking about general aims rather than concrete ones. Others go into minute detail, mapping out exactly what they're going to do and when. I do a bit of both, come to think of it--I plan on going to the gym more, but I also plan on finishing the revision of A Division of Souls and getting it out in 2013. I plan on doing a bit more cooking, but I also plan on taking an evening class or two. This coming year promises to be full of interesting things.

( Short retrospective bit about cleaning out the attic in 2012 )

That said...

I have resolutions for 2013!

Writing.
This coming year looks good for me. I'm about a third of the way through the revision of A Division of Souls, and I seem to be getting more done at a quicker pace now. I figure by Q3 I should have it done and ready to go. So this means that in Q1 and Q2 I'll start doing a bit of agent and publisher research and shopping around and prepare myself for the big sendout. And when that happens, I'll start in on the revision of Book 2.

I'm going to try and squeeze in another project this time, something that won't be a main focus but something I can work on "on the interim" during afternoons or something similar. I'm not sure if it'll be a new project or if it'll be one of my backburner projects, but I want to have something going, even if it ends up being more of an exercise than a full-blown project. I need to dust off the ol' noggin and get new words flowing again. It's been too long.

I've lapsed a bit on the poetry, since I ended the Dreamwidth project earlier this year, but I'm going to start picking that up again. When I assigned myself to write a poem on certain days of the week like I did a few years back, it was a fun exercise and I think I got some decent work out of it, so I'm thinking it's time to do so again.

Also, I will continue on the Walk in Silence project. I've let it lapse a bit lately so I can play catch-up with ADoS, but I have some 2013 plans for this one. My aim is to reserve weekends for this project, so I can spend a good chunk of time focusing on it, while the weekdays stay reserved for the Eden Cycle revisions and the possible new stuff.

Lastly, chances are good I may need to buy a new laptop, as I'm not feeling good about getting my current one fixed (I'm not complaining about the place I brought it to, he's actually quite a nice guy and does good work--it's more that it died only after a year and he's having problems finding replacement parts already). Not sure what I'm going to get, but I'm open to Windows 8 and touchscreen...as long as it has MS Word, a few USB ports and a cd drive, it's all good. [Note: I don't plan on getting Apple products for personal tastes and reasons, so no need to try to sell me on it. Just sayin'. ;) ] I'd like to be able to sit out in the living room with Emm while working instead of holing myself up in Spare Oom all day and night.

More on all of this come January 1, when I update my whiteboard.

Creativity.
So I received a Wacom Splash tablet and a Korg Monotribe mini synth for Christmas (thanks to my sister and Emm, respectively). Looks like 2013 is going to be ridiculously productive! I've been meaning to pick up the drawing and the music playing again in a more substantive way, and now I have two toys that will help me reach that goal. The drawing will most likely yield more results sooner, since the tablet is ridiculously easy to use and I've had a ton of fun with it already. The synth might take a bit longer as is a bit confusing to use, but I should be able to figure it out after a bit of playing around with it (that's how I learn most instruments anyway). I'm planning on getting some multitrack audio software at some point as well, so you might see me posting some homemade tunage some time down the road.

Health.
Despite our recent lapse in going to the YMCA (holidays and a business trip will do that), the both of us plan on getting back on that bandwagon as soon as we can. Basically we'll just be continuing our ongoing exercising, so this is more of a reminder than a resolution. Walking around the neighborhood on weekends continues as weather permits, of course.

On a more personal note, I think it's high time I had a physical checkup, as it's been way too long since the last one. I feel fine other than the usual aches and pains of getting older--in fact, I'm in much better shape than I was five years ago, so this would be more about seeing where I stand healthwise and seeing if there's anything I should do or at least be aware of. I'd also like to make a trip or two to a local dentist/orthodontist to get some work done as well. I'm not in pain, but I do need the cleaning and perhaps a new crown or two.

Work and Education.
Short version is that I'm about to start actively looking for a new job again, after taking some time off from doing so (partly due to no bites, but partly due to a work-related project that I ended up having quite a big hand in--who knew that I'd actually become an SME about OFAC regulations and check printing?). Still debating on what exactly I should look for. However, part of that debate will also lean on a few things: I'd like to find one of those professional job placement places in town, just to see where I should be jobwise. There's also the fact that I'm thinking of looking into some adult education courses for things that might help this future trajectory. Not sure where I'm going here, but I'm glad I'm in a position where I'll be able to do this.

Financial.
I've been sitting on my rollover IRA from Yankee Candle for too long and not putting any money into it or moving it around, so it hasn't really been making any money over the last few years. I think it's high time I started putting more money into it and reorganizing it, or maybe even moving it into another institution. I actually have some background on this from my old position at the bank, so it's not as if I'd be going in blind.

Lifecleaning.
Over the course of the last few months, I've been doing a bit of sorting and cleaning here and there, digitally and otherwise. Getting some things in order, finishing other things I've put aside. It's slow going, but I try to get some of it done on a daily if not weekly basis. I still have some papers and items to sort through, scan, shred, and whatnot, and I still need to bring quite a few items to Goodwill and books to bring to the Fort Mason bookstore. But other than that, I'm finally getting a lot of it in order to the point that any other cleaning is at the point of upkeep rather than getting things in order.


So that's my 2013 plans in a nutshell. A lot of stuff planned or scheduled to unfold, and I'm definitely looking forward to it.