Drunken Owls and Other Delights

This year kind of felt like coming out of a haze for me...not so much about being in a haze for so long, but finally finding a bit of clarity in my life that I've been needing for ages. I know...I've said that a lot over the years, but this time feels a bit different. It's not so much wishful thinking this time as it's just a simple reality. 

I think part of it is that I finally rejoined the rest of the outside world with a new job in retail, well away from the banking universe. I can accept that I felt like I was constantly swimming upstream at the Former Day Job, even when I was well-versed in what I was doing at the time. Some might see working at a supermarket as a step downwards (or a step closer to senior age with less-strenuous work), but let's be brutally honest here: I'd much rather be here at the shop with coworkers I truly get along with and know on a deeper level, with customers who aren't Freaking The Fuck Out over the most minute things, where the highest stress is ensuring we have things in stock and that shoplifting is at a minimum. 

Sure, I'll totally admit I was constantly in over my head at the bank. I stayed there primarily for the job security and secondarily out of laziness. Coming out of the back end of the pandemic made me realize that Life Could Be So Much Better for me, and I followed through. I've been at the shop for about nine months now and my mind and soul are much more stable than they ever were at the bank, not to mention that they really like my work there. I feel like part of a team instead of just another interchangeable warm body.

So what does this have to do with my life outside the Day Job? Well, it was a needed step, really. I had to accept that I needed a Day Job, but also that I actually didn't want to be a freelance writer, nor do I want to spend a good portion of my creative time trying to promote myself. I just want to write novels, that's all. It's what I do best, and it's what I love best. It also gave me the emotional freedom to say I'm not held back by the small-c conservative mindset of banking, and gave me the freedom and ability to better express myself again.

So yeah...like I said, it feels like clarity, and it feels great. And I'm planning to run with it in 2023.

Two more days left in the year.  It's been a crazybusy 2018 all around, but it's also been an incredibly fruitful, and even positive in certain respects.  I think overall I had a damn good year all told, so I'm happy with it.  

So what's to come in 2019?  Good question.

I'm going to make good on that blogging hiatus I thought about earlier and take some time off.  I've got some personal things I'd like to sort out; things I've been putting aside for years at a time, that I'd like to finally tackle.  Some of it is creative, but a lot of it is personal.  I'll still pop up here on the weekends considering this is my personal (non-music, non-writing) blog, but I don't plan on making it a mandatory thing like I've been doing for the last year.

It's funny, I kind of feel like I'm a musician that's deciding not to go on tour or release any music for the next three years.  Taking up painting or getting a degree in something.  I expect to return soon enough, though there's no set date.  I just plan on living my life offline for a while and make some long-needed changes.

Anyway!  Here's to wishing all of you a happy, prosperous and positive 2019!   See ya on the flip side!