Well, hell.

[jon_chaisson]

I never thought that writing a scene where an explosion occurs and showers debris onto the car of the POV character would be such a pain in the royall butt. I'm having a hell of a time trying to write it without making it sound stupid. X(


ETA: And why is it that my work laptop is absolutely flat-out refusing to connect online from home?? I am the ONLY person at my workplace that is having this problem, and no one can figure out why. X(

Comments

I'm having a hell of a time trying to write it without making it sound stupid.

[chaoticmoth.livejournal.com]

Are you trying to describe the visuals? Maybe you should be realistic, if an explosion occured and debris was flying towards me while sitting in a car I would be laying to the side with my head covered hoping to hell I didn't die, and wouldn't see a thing. On the other hand, I would be hearing a lot, and there would be a lot of fear response symptoms going on in my body that could be described including flinching at any secondary explosions or at any glass raining into the car from a broken window....

Re: I'm having a hell of a time trying to write it without making it sound stupid.

[joncwriter.livejournal.com]

Well, after getting rather ticked off at it (and at my work computer, which I was trying to connect and getting nowhere), I sat down and forced myself to write the scene, damn the torpedoes, give it what for, etc. It pretty much worked out almost exactly how you suggested above, actually. I think the problem I had was how to bring in the unexpected explosion without making it sound like "And then the thing went BOOM."

But I'll fix that in the rewrite. ;)

without making it sound like "And then the thing went BOOM."

[chaoticmoth.livejournal.com]

Use "KA-BOOM"?