I'm waiting for Gnip Gnop: Sudden Death IV...

[jon_chaisson]

Hasbro, Universal pact may produce Monopoly movie

Honestly...you can make a movie out of anything these days...

And for those too young to remember...Gnip Gnop

Comments

[chang3002.livejournal.com]

Husker Du: THE MOVIE!!!

Hungry Hungry Hippos: Terror of MasticatoN!

Jesus. El stupido.

Whenevr I hear Gnip GNop, I always think of Dr. Octagon.

Gnip Gnop/You think you got that real hiphop/
Watch the charts/saw your album flop!

[joncwriter.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I've always meant to pick Dr. Octagon up, but I never got around to it...

[chaoticmoth.livejournal.com]

Ah, Gnip Gnop. I don't know how many years it took me to realize the name was ping pong spelled backwards for each word. :)

And the funny thing is how well the sound of saying gnip gnop (with a hard "g sound making each word two syllables) reflects the actual sounds of a ping pong game! :)

[joncwriter.livejournal.com]

I remember the game well...playing it down in my parents' dusty basement!

[head58.livejournal.com]

It damn well better be a Uwe Boll film!!

[joncwriter.livejournal.com]

HELL YEAH!

[maps-or-guitars.livejournal.com]

I tried to imagine the dialogue for "BATTLESHIP: THE MOVIE" and now I'm sorry.

Can't Hollywood come up with shitty movies on their own, anymore?

[joncwriter.livejournal.com]

Apparently not. ;)

[Quick crossfades of gloomy, stormy ocean, with random battleships at right angles]

GRAVELLY-VOICE-OVER GUY: The Pacific fleet gathers...

[Slo-mo silent shot of Big Name Actors on deck, barking out orders]

GVOG: ...the games are about to begin...

[Slow zoom-in on face of Captain, presumably Nicholas Cage, eyes wide, as he looks at radar screens]

CAPTAIN: My god...

GVOG: ...against all the others...

[Insane number of explosions, ships sinking, Wilhelm Screams, etc.]

GVOG: ...one captain stands alone.

[Captain running to save female cadet from certain drowning doom--]

[Slow fade-in of Nick Cage standing on deck, dirty and disheveled against a clear sky]

CAPTAIN: You sank my battleship, you sonofa--

[Cut to caption: BATTLESHIP: THE MOVIE -- A MICHAEL BAY FILM]

[Teaser shot of gun turrets exploding and flying towards screen, cutting to--]

[CAPTION: SUMMER 2010. This film is has not yet been rated.]

[maps-or-guitars.livejournal.com]

OR:

[Quick crossfades of French countryside... Dutch polder... Russian steppes

GRAVELLY-VOICE-OVER GUY: The iron fist of a diabolical leader...

[Slo-mo silent shot of Big Name Actors in Wermacht uniforms... standing around tanks]

GVOG: ...is about to leap into action...

[Slow zoom-in on face of American and Russians Soldiers, grimly waiting]

SERGEANT: They're coming...

GVOG: ...eventually...

[wave upon wave of German tanks and infantry, just standing around smoking]

GVOG: ...one general will break the rules...

[German officer running to embrace Parisian Collaborator ingenue]

GVOG: ...if he can ever learn them in the first place.

SERGEANT: They're coming, aren't they?

[Cut to caption: PANZER LEADER: THE MOVIE -- PART ONE OF SEVEN -- A KEN BURNS FILM]

[Wave upon wave of tanks, just sitting there]


SERGEANT, PEERING THROUGH BINOCULARS: TIGER TANKS!
LIEUTENANT: Impossible. That model's not coming out for another year yet.
SERGEANT: No, no... it went into limited production and they rushed a few to the front right away...
LIEUTENANT: Okay, fine, but that's the Russian front. They didn't think they needed them over here, is my point.
CORPORAL: Naw, you're thinking of the Tiger II. They had Tigers here, alright. That's a Type I over there.

[fade endless kibitzing]

[CAPTION: SUMMER 2020. This film is has not yet been completed.]

[joncwriter.livejournal.com]

I'd see that! FTW! :)

[maps-or-guitars.livejournal.com]

Trouble is, the movie would be all setup, in the last half hour there would be a few scenes of action, and then they'd have to stop because the director has work the next day. The first sequel would be marred by mysterious continuity errors involving the mis-placing of entire battalions, and future films would be shelved for lack of interested partners.

[joncwriter.livejournal.com]

Okay, you win. I can't top that one!

[maps-or-guitars.livejournal.com]

ph34r mah 1337 01d-5k001 g4m3r g33k 4n4l0gy p0w4rz.

I realize that I can only be so proud of this.

[bitterandrew.livejournal.com]

I'm freaking out a little because my reply to the friend who first told me about the Monopoly movie was "I'm waiting for the Gnip-Gnop film."

GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

[joncwriter.livejournal.com]

It's the water, I tell you...either that, or we're distantly related somehow. New England is funny that way. :p