22R: Picture Perfect Day

Due to a backlog of other things that need doing, I'm going to share a poem I wrote back in 1997...I don't remember if I posted this on my LJ previously. This was written during a time of change--I'd lost contact with many of my old friends, but was truly and finally moving on to new things; I'd started writing The Phoenix Effect, and had started pushing myself to write a lot more than previous. Hope you enjoy!


PICTURE PERFECT DAY

In dreams
I go to places
Places I've been to before
Places that have changed
They're no longer childhood memories
Or places in past lives
We talk about the rain coming down
And we close our eyes to the storm
Wishing secretly we were not here
And somewhere, far away, in another life
Oh yes we talk while the rain is coming down
Distorts the tears in your eyes
Stuck in a place we lived in but never made home
And wishing clearly we were not here
I see you, Josephine
Standing in the doorway
A fag in your hand and dim lights in your eyes
Your time has come to say goodbye
It's time to move on again, my dear...

We sit here and talk about the rain
'It's going to flood the house one of these days'
I'm so tired, too tired to argue
All I want is for today to be over
All I want is for you to say yes
All I want is for tonight to last forever
But I know, deep down, that will never happen
And so you come over to me
And say 'let's go outside'
'Let's play in the rain and get wet for a change'
No dear, I'm not in the mood
Maybe some other time, perhaps
'When the sun is out with the rain
When the air is filled with the scent of spring
And the trees are filled with birds and sin
And the house is empty, just you and me
And the time is right, and the air is right
Oh screw it let's just get wet and see what happens...'

Three a.m. and I'm over your house
Lying on your bed that was never remade
Oh love never looks good after a trip to the loo
And a hacking cough that could wake the dead
Yet somehow
Somehow...
We made love underneath the beckoning stars
And each of them counted the two of us
And their reflections in our eyes
Oh God, it was good for you, was it good for me?
Tell me, please, was it good for me?
'You're way too awake for your own good,' you said
'Come to bed, enjoy the benefits of human slumber.'
But I've closed my eyes and all I see is the same...
Those crazy old memories and tricks of the mind
No, the last thing I want to do is sleep again
I don't want to get caught up again...
Don't want to talk about the rain again
Don't want to get caught up again...
Don't want to see you bored with me again
Don't want to get caught up again...
Don't want to...

Next day we wake up and our toys are in the backyard
The blocks and the bears gathering dew like nervous sweat
And our clothes are hiding somewhere on Fourth Street
Where I've deposited them for safe keeping
'You don't look so good' you say
And frankly neither do you
But crazy love will do that to you, dear
So live it up and drink your coffee...
After awhile the paper arrives and the jobsearch begins
You with your nose in the paper
And mine between the keys
The working week will begin again soon
And so starts another sore day of quiet aggravation...
No don't talk with me about the rain
It's the last think I need to know in the world...

She's thirty-five and you're nothing like her
So don't even think I have a chance
You're the only one who took the time to care
And you'll be the last one to know such things
I said don't talk about the weather with me
I don't need to know
Oh come on and talk to me
You know I have a heart of broken glass already
Anything you tell me will be taken in kind
So don't think I can fall apart so easily
It's your move dear,
It's your move!
Oh not the weather again...

written 2 March 1997
started 8.56pm
@ home
listening to the Smiths 1st LP

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