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[Writing] Revision and Name Changing
Sep. 9th, 2012 07:05 pmMy writing time was laughable last week, and I admit it was partly by choice. I hadn't planned on watching the DNC, but since Emm had it on I followed suit. And since most of this weekend was spent on the road or in various stores, nothing happened yesterday or today. I did sneak a few poems in during the week during work time, but other than that it's been slim pickins. I plan on fixing that later this week with actual heavy duty revision sessions.
Speaking of which, I'm currently going over Chapter 5 of A Division of Souls (in which Poe meets up with Akaina and Ashyntoya) for a THIRD time, because, as I'd said to Emm during one of our walks, I like the beginning and ending of the chapter but the middle is OH GOD HORRIBLE. Okay, maybe not that bad, but it could still use a hell of a lot of work. The problem is that a lot of the important action isn't typical; it takes place in a sort-of-other-reality that Poe experiences through the other two characters. It doesn't quite take place in his head, but it doesn't quite take place in his normal reality, either. The plot itself is okay, but I'm having a hell of a time trying to get the description right. I had the same problem with Chapters 1 and 3 (I apparently alternate between good and bad chapters!), in which the plot is good but the telling is in dire need of an overhaul. I've got my writing work cut out for me this week. Hopefully the third time's the charm.
Also trilogy related, all the talk about cultural appropriation in SF/F that I've been reading on the internets over the last few months has got me thinking about some of the things I've used in the trilogy. I've mentioned quite often that the Eden Cycle was partially inspired and influenced by anime (specifically the Gall Force series), so there's definitely a few traces of things Japanese in there. All done appropriately of course. However, it got me thinking about the Mihari and the Misuteru--the yin and yang of spiritual power in the Eden Cycle world. The Mihari are hands-off and protect through vigilance, constantly watching, while the Misuteru are hands-on and want to enforce change to ensure peace.
The names are Japanese words (mihari = watch, misuteru = abandon) that I grabbed from a Japanese pocket dictionary I owned. At the time I didn't even think twice about snagging a different language's words because it wasn't a malicious intent; in fact, it was more to the point that I was fascinated by the naming convention in the animes I watched. At the time (the late 90s, when the trilogy was still The Phoenix Effect), the names also tied in with the history of these Meraladians--the Mihari were the proactive aliens watching the future and the past and leaving the homeworld first, and the Misuteru were the ones who wanted to stay behind, and thus felt abandoned by their counterparts.
All this said...even though I've written a complete trilogy that took me pretty much ten years to write, and the Mihari/Misuteru names date back even further (Mihari from around 1994 and Misuteru soon after), I think it's time that I come up with newer names. There's two reasons for this:
1) Logic. I mostly did away with the "abandoned Meraladian" backstory quite a few drafts ago, so "Misuteru" doesn't fit anymore. "Mihari" does fit somewhat, but at this point it feels out of place, like I tried shoehorning it into the story when it no longer quite fits. The Mihari at this point are more active within the storyline so calling them "watchers" is sort of a misnomer.
2) Language. "Mihari" and "Misuteru" are the only two specific real-life words left in the story, as many of the other names have been changed to fit the Anjshe conlang I'd created around 2001. Even the alien race name is officially "Meraladhza" (lit. "people from Meraladh") and "Meraladian" is the "Terranized" corruption of the name. I only kept Mihari and Misuteru because the two sides are so central to the story. More to the point, however, the names themselves are not central, but could be (this would make even more sense, as words have lingual and spiritual meanings in this alien world).
SO! That being said, over the course of the next few weeks or so I will be creating new names for them, and will need to do some serious Find/Replace editing (for three separate novels I should add) to get everything changed over. It's worth it, though. I don't think I'm doing this to avoid real-life cultural appropriation as I am realizing that the appropriating that did take place in the past no longer fits, and needs an update.
Since these two names are going to be extremely important to the story, I'll have to do some serious thinking about it. The good thing is that Anjshe is a very organic language, in which I use specific syllables to mean certain things which I would then combine and perhaps tweak to form more words [for example, mehra (spiritual state) + dea (to be at rest) = mehridhea (peace)]. My plan is to start making a list of names and choose what sounds best and fits best.
This by far has to be the most intensive change in the trilogy that I've ever made, and I'm sure I'll still refer to them by their old names after the fact, but it's a change that needs doing.
Speaking of which, I'm currently going over Chapter 5 of A Division of Souls (in which Poe meets up with Akaina and Ashyntoya) for a THIRD time, because, as I'd said to Emm during one of our walks, I like the beginning and ending of the chapter but the middle is OH GOD HORRIBLE. Okay, maybe not that bad, but it could still use a hell of a lot of work. The problem is that a lot of the important action isn't typical; it takes place in a sort-of-other-reality that Poe experiences through the other two characters. It doesn't quite take place in his head, but it doesn't quite take place in his normal reality, either. The plot itself is okay, but I'm having a hell of a time trying to get the description right. I had the same problem with Chapters 1 and 3 (I apparently alternate between good and bad chapters!), in which the plot is good but the telling is in dire need of an overhaul. I've got my writing work cut out for me this week. Hopefully the third time's the charm.
Also trilogy related, all the talk about cultural appropriation in SF/F that I've been reading on the internets over the last few months has got me thinking about some of the things I've used in the trilogy. I've mentioned quite often that the Eden Cycle was partially inspired and influenced by anime (specifically the Gall Force series), so there's definitely a few traces of things Japanese in there. All done appropriately of course. However, it got me thinking about the Mihari and the Misuteru--the yin and yang of spiritual power in the Eden Cycle world. The Mihari are hands-off and protect through vigilance, constantly watching, while the Misuteru are hands-on and want to enforce change to ensure peace.
The names are Japanese words (mihari = watch, misuteru = abandon) that I grabbed from a Japanese pocket dictionary I owned. At the time I didn't even think twice about snagging a different language's words because it wasn't a malicious intent; in fact, it was more to the point that I was fascinated by the naming convention in the animes I watched. At the time (the late 90s, when the trilogy was still The Phoenix Effect), the names also tied in with the history of these Meraladians--the Mihari were the proactive aliens watching the future and the past and leaving the homeworld first, and the Misuteru were the ones who wanted to stay behind, and thus felt abandoned by their counterparts.
All this said...even though I've written a complete trilogy that took me pretty much ten years to write, and the Mihari/Misuteru names date back even further (Mihari from around 1994 and Misuteru soon after), I think it's time that I come up with newer names. There's two reasons for this:
1) Logic. I mostly did away with the "abandoned Meraladian" backstory quite a few drafts ago, so "Misuteru" doesn't fit anymore. "Mihari" does fit somewhat, but at this point it feels out of place, like I tried shoehorning it into the story when it no longer quite fits. The Mihari at this point are more active within the storyline so calling them "watchers" is sort of a misnomer.
2) Language. "Mihari" and "Misuteru" are the only two specific real-life words left in the story, as many of the other names have been changed to fit the Anjshe conlang I'd created around 2001. Even the alien race name is officially "Meraladhza" (lit. "people from Meraladh") and "Meraladian" is the "Terranized" corruption of the name. I only kept Mihari and Misuteru because the two sides are so central to the story. More to the point, however, the names themselves are not central, but could be (this would make even more sense, as words have lingual and spiritual meanings in this alien world).
SO! That being said, over the course of the next few weeks or so I will be creating new names for them, and will need to do some serious Find/Replace editing (for three separate novels I should add) to get everything changed over. It's worth it, though. I don't think I'm doing this to avoid real-life cultural appropriation as I am realizing that the appropriating that did take place in the past no longer fits, and needs an update.
Since these two names are going to be extremely important to the story, I'll have to do some serious thinking about it. The good thing is that Anjshe is a very organic language, in which I use specific syllables to mean certain things which I would then combine and perhaps tweak to form more words [for example, mehra (spiritual state) + dea (to be at rest) = mehridhea (peace)]. My plan is to start making a list of names and choose what sounds best and fits best.
This by far has to be the most intensive change in the trilogy that I've ever made, and I'm sure I'll still refer to them by their old names after the fact, but it's a change that needs doing.
