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For those who don't follow A. on her Twitter or FB, we received news that she's been laid off.
She's not surprised, to be honest. Her company's been doing a lot of "cost-cutting" over the years and it was only a matter of time. It's frustrating, it's aggravating, but it wasn't a surprise. She's going to take a very well-deserved break for a little bit before she starts searching again. She's getting a very generous pay-out. We've got a financial buffer. Right now our vacation plans are still on.
But FUCKING HELL, I hate this feeling.
I remember the feeling well. It's not one I enjoyed at all, but it's what I had at the time. A feeling of being forcibly stuck at a level. This far, no further. Nothing I did or didn't do...just the way the game was played. Making do with what I had on hand. On the one hand it made me angry. So many things I wanted to do but couldn't. The pain and the frustration and the stigma of being tied down to a restrictive budget. Wanting to see more of the world, wanting to do something important, but making do with the immediate area.
What those asses don't understand is that twitch, that feeling of being caged.
Wanting to be better, knowing I could be better, but not having the financial ability to do so. It eats at you. It makes you angry at yourself. It makes you angry at the world. So you either shut it off, or you ignore it, or you find an outlet. You find a way to calm your pain some way. Smoking, buying things, listening to music, whatever's cheap. You know you're wasting money you could use elsewhere, but for fuck's sake, how can you survive day to day knowing your chained? What if, like me, your dream career is to be a freelancer, but you can't follow through with it for financial reasons?
How the fuck do you break out of that? How do you deal with that? How do you process delaying your dream career for stupid fucking financial reasons?
Like I said -- we've got a buffer. We'll survive. We're not in dire straits. We'll cut back on things we can do without. She'll find a new position somewhere, with her years of experience. Whether it's here or elsewhere, who knows. But we'll be fine.
But seriously, I fucking HATE this feeling of being caged.
She's not surprised, to be honest. Her company's been doing a lot of "cost-cutting" over the years and it was only a matter of time. It's frustrating, it's aggravating, but it wasn't a surprise. She's going to take a very well-deserved break for a little bit before she starts searching again. She's getting a very generous pay-out. We've got a financial buffer. Right now our vacation plans are still on.
But FUCKING HELL, I hate this feeling.
I remember the feeling well. It's not one I enjoyed at all, but it's what I had at the time. A feeling of being forcibly stuck at a level. This far, no further. Nothing I did or didn't do...just the way the game was played. Making do with what I had on hand. On the one hand it made me angry. So many things I wanted to do but couldn't. The pain and the frustration and the stigma of being tied down to a restrictive budget. Wanting to see more of the world, wanting to do something important, but making do with the immediate area.
What those asses don't understand is that twitch, that feeling of being caged.
Wanting to be better, knowing I could be better, but not having the financial ability to do so. It eats at you. It makes you angry at yourself. It makes you angry at the world. So you either shut it off, or you ignore it, or you find an outlet. You find a way to calm your pain some way. Smoking, buying things, listening to music, whatever's cheap. You know you're wasting money you could use elsewhere, but for fuck's sake, how can you survive day to day knowing your chained? What if, like me, your dream career is to be a freelancer, but you can't follow through with it for financial reasons?
How the fuck do you break out of that? How do you deal with that? How do you process delaying your dream career for stupid fucking financial reasons?
Like I said -- we've got a buffer. We'll survive. We're not in dire straits. We'll cut back on things we can do without. She'll find a new position somewhere, with her years of experience. Whether it's here or elsewhere, who knows. But we'll be fine.
But seriously, I fucking HATE this feeling of being caged.
