When I decided to move down to NJ, I knew it was a good move for me. I'd lived and worked in MA all my life and getting out of that rut helped me figure out just what I needed to do with my life. I left my (somewhat) cushy job and joined the ranks of the temp world, all the while trying to think of what I
really wanted to do. Writing has always been high on that list, and I used that to push myself during those stressful days after work.
Once I moved down here, though, I find that I stopped writing. Sure, I was getting myself situated in a new state, new surroundings, new jobs, etc., but in reality it doesn't take me that long to "get myself situated" in a new place. I got a new job within weeks of being down here, and seamlessly switched to another job when that one was done. So why was I not writing? Being sidetracked by various things was part of it (including a wonderful relationship, but hey, that's not a bad thing, is it? :p ), but not being inspired to write was another part of it. I wasn't inspired basically because I was trying to pick up the trilogy again. And that's another paragraph I'll get into a little later.
Anyway, now that
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
emmalyon and I are possibly moving out to CA, that should definitely inspire me. Maybe it's that both she and I are kinda sick of the weather in this part of the country. For me, anyway, it has to do with the land not speaking to me anymore, so to speak. Things feel like they haven't really changed much. Not as exciting as I want them to be.
So when Emm and I visited Boston last weekend, it occurs to me that I do miss living in that city, even though things have changed there for me. Perhaps it's one of those "I need to move on" sort of things that writers talk about, the gaijin that comes in, has adventures in the small town or big city, and them moves on to the next place. Romantic in a literary sense, perhaps, but I think I've always felt that way. I stayed in my hometown longer than I anticipated or wanted (even though I thank my family for letting me all that time), and I started to accept the fact that I was living there until further notice, with no immediate future plans.
So how does this affect my writing? I believe that every writer has to have some sort of conflict in their lives that inspires them to bleed those words onto the screen or paper, and for me that conflict left when I gave up any concrete plans to move out a few years ago while I tried to get my financial life back in order. When I was stressed out about money, I used that anger/frustration to fuel my writing. I didn't write angry prose, I just put that directionless energy to good use.
So now? I don't think I really need to throw myself into some stressful situation just to get that energy back. All I need is to find that energy elsewhere. I've bled the energy of conflict for
WAY too long, quite possibly since my angst-filled high school years. I need to find inspiration elsewhere. Perhaps in new, more positive and exciting things. Perhaps somewhere out in California.
This is one of the reasons I'm totally behind Emm getting that job. :)
Oh--and as for the trilogy? I'm torn on it. I like the style, the ideas, and the characters, but for some reason it's not quite jelling with me anymore. I think it might have to do with the fact that the plot that stretches over the three books needs some reining in. Most of it was written on the fly, with a pretty good idea of what I wanted to say but no real set plan. No outline, no nothing. I feel disconnected from it. But that's okay, actually. I consider myself a serious writer (not quite at professional level, as I haven't been published yet!) and I know from advice and my own thoughts that selling a single, stand-alone book would break me into the field a lot easier than a big hulking trilogy.
Well--either way, we'll see what happens.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
