...

(for emmalyon)

As I sit here downstairs in my basement writing corner, I look out the window and I see bright blue skies, tall pine trees, and the thousands of rusting leaves on the ground. I am home after a particularly frustrating day at work, the detials of which I won't go into because right now they're inconsequential. I want to scream out in anger, I want to hide my head in shame, and I want to move on with my life. All three things I want to do, all three of them vying to take precedence in my mind.

This is an interesting country to live in. I can't say I've had experience in other countries, as I've only visited Canada twice in my life and that's it, but I have to say that, as a human being, there certainly isn't a lack of interesting things going on in this part of the world. Too many to describe here, too few to be of any consequence in the long run. Life goes on, whether I'm mad at it or enjoying it. All I can do is make the best of what I have, with what I can. If that means I have to accept the inevitability of war, so be it. If that means I have to accept that Bush has won the election, so be it. If that means I have to start writing to Congress--or even the President--to tell them what needs to be done, so be it.

The answer, at least for me, is not to gripe about this loss. I can't spend my time and energy screaming out in anger when all I'm doing is joining in the chorus. No one will hear me that way. If there has to be something done about the problems we face in this country, I have to remind myself that this is a democracy. I do have a voice. I am a writer, and in my opinion I think I'm a decent one, and with this gift of words I can do wonders.

But with this gift of mine, I must remember that I should not use them to harm others. I should not use them to twist the truth. I should not use them for my own personal gain. I am a writer because I like to tell stories. I am a writer because I use my imagination to work out difficult problems. I am a writer because it's what I do, simple as that. However...if I must use my writing to better the lives of not only Americans but the rest of the world, by all means I am ready and willing to do so.

The difficulty that I have here is in reminding myself that this is what I may have to do at some point in my life. While I write mostly for the joy of writing, I am well aware of the fact that I can also use my craft for the greater good. Countless authors have written articles and books that have gone on to change life for the better, and there will be countless more in the future. I am not a person who believes that the Bill of Rights gives me the freedom to say what I want--it's a human ability that I have that gives me the freedom. It is only my own conscience that keeps me from slandering and attacking and vilifying. My only hope is that there are more people out there than I know now who also have this ability and this kind of conscience to better our lives. It is up to me, and to the rest of us, to keep these gifts and bestow them upon the world.

And so I leave this with one final word, to share with all of you:

Perseverance.