jon_chaisson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jon_chaisson) wrote2004-09-12 06:59 pm
jon_chaisson) wrote2004-09-12 06:59 pm
Entry tags:
The Last Home Year
Okay, it's 7pm and I'm just about to fall back into my old schedule of writing 7-9pm again after a week and a half of completely avoiding it. No, not really avoiding it, more like slacking off, just not even worrying about it. Guess this was a REAL vacation, where I did as little as possible, including writing. To tell you the truth, I think it was a wise choice to do that. I look at my writing/word count calendar (yeah, I'm that much of a geek), and I haven't taken this many days off since, oh, February or so? So yeah, it was a nice respite.
Now if I could only get rid of this damn cough. It's not as bad as it was a few days ago, but it's still there. Of course, mowing the very dry front lawn today and kicking up mounds of dust and dirt didn't help matters...
So tomorrow I'm heading back into work. Whee! Sure, there's a part of me that actually can't wait to get back. No, really! Sure, I could do without the department running me ragged all the time, and I could certainly do without the coworkers who do nothing but gripe all day (we all have those, don't we?), but other than that, I look forward to seeing Bruce and Leslie and Dom and Aaron and the rest of the gang of malcontents I work with.
----
Maybe it's just me, but this has been going through my head the last few days...
Do you remember those days in high school when, after a crappy social life last year, after the disengagement from your classmates for a few months so you can heal from embarrassment, stupid decisions, and teenage angst, you promised to yourself that when you returned for another round, you'd be more confident, more focused, more positive? Remember how you did your best to hold onto these hopeful virtues, promising yourself that you wouldn't let the outside world affect you as much as before? Remember how sometimes it worked, other times it didn't?
So here I am, coming back from a week and a half of vacation, coming back from WorldCon--an important stepping stone in my writing career, in some ways--and I'm sitting here at the computer on Sunday evening, writing on my computer just like I always do, and feeling like it's the first day of school. But this isn't one of those "blissfully hopeful" moments...it's more like it's the night before senior year of high school. My last year before I make the big, BIG BIG choice of what to do next in my life.
Maybe it's me, but that's exactly how I'm feeling right now. It's early September, I'm off to another year of working at YC, and in the midst of making many important life choices. I'm no longer picking up comic books (guess Showcase closing was a good thing after all...), I'm hardly buying any cds (what...five or so in the last months?? Believe me, that's a BIG improvement...), and I'm looking after my health again (thanks for the idea, Lynxie) (okay, enough with the brackets)...
I'm about to start the long hard road of piling away as much money as I can in the next six to eight months as overtime looms in the distance and the Christmas season starts. Like I said before, I'm just about sick of saying I'll move out soon and never getting around to actually doing it. With any luck, I'll have enough saved away that when all the college kids move out in the spring, I can make my move at the apartments down in the Valley. It doesn't have to be anything big. Just enough for me to set up my writing, a space for my music and books, and some light to let the sun in. Oh, and of course parking is always good.
I haven't lived on my own since fall of '95 when I moved back home from Boston. Jeez-lou-fucking-weeze...ten damn years! Well, it took me five of those to a)get out of debt, and b)heal from all the emotional bullshit (mine and from others) I'd had to contend with while in Boston. The other five was spent perfecting my writing craft and figuring my life out. Yeah, I figure ten years is long enough. Time to get the hell out. :)
So.
The Last Home Year. I came up with that phrase my senior year of high school when I was taping music from WAMH...it would be the last year I was home before college, and these radio tapes would be sort of a final goodbye to life in Athol as far as I knew.
So.
The Last Home Year.
Second time's the charm, as they say. Let's hope so.
Now if I could only get rid of this damn cough. It's not as bad as it was a few days ago, but it's still there. Of course, mowing the very dry front lawn today and kicking up mounds of dust and dirt didn't help matters...
So tomorrow I'm heading back into work. Whee! Sure, there's a part of me that actually can't wait to get back. No, really! Sure, I could do without the department running me ragged all the time, and I could certainly do without the coworkers who do nothing but gripe all day (we all have those, don't we?), but other than that, I look forward to seeing Bruce and Leslie and Dom and Aaron and the rest of the gang of malcontents I work with.
----
Maybe it's just me, but this has been going through my head the last few days...
Do you remember those days in high school when, after a crappy social life last year, after the disengagement from your classmates for a few months so you can heal from embarrassment, stupid decisions, and teenage angst, you promised to yourself that when you returned for another round, you'd be more confident, more focused, more positive? Remember how you did your best to hold onto these hopeful virtues, promising yourself that you wouldn't let the outside world affect you as much as before? Remember how sometimes it worked, other times it didn't?
So here I am, coming back from a week and a half of vacation, coming back from WorldCon--an important stepping stone in my writing career, in some ways--and I'm sitting here at the computer on Sunday evening, writing on my computer just like I always do, and feeling like it's the first day of school. But this isn't one of those "blissfully hopeful" moments...it's more like it's the night before senior year of high school. My last year before I make the big, BIG BIG choice of what to do next in my life.
Maybe it's me, but that's exactly how I'm feeling right now. It's early September, I'm off to another year of working at YC, and in the midst of making many important life choices. I'm no longer picking up comic books (guess Showcase closing was a good thing after all...), I'm hardly buying any cds (what...five or so in the last months?? Believe me, that's a BIG improvement...), and I'm looking after my health again (thanks for the idea, Lynxie) (okay, enough with the brackets)...
I'm about to start the long hard road of piling away as much money as I can in the next six to eight months as overtime looms in the distance and the Christmas season starts. Like I said before, I'm just about sick of saying I'll move out soon and never getting around to actually doing it. With any luck, I'll have enough saved away that when all the college kids move out in the spring, I can make my move at the apartments down in the Valley. It doesn't have to be anything big. Just enough for me to set up my writing, a space for my music and books, and some light to let the sun in. Oh, and of course parking is always good.
I haven't lived on my own since fall of '95 when I moved back home from Boston. Jeez-lou-fucking-weeze...ten damn years! Well, it took me five of those to a)get out of debt, and b)heal from all the emotional bullshit (mine and from others) I'd had to contend with while in Boston. The other five was spent perfecting my writing craft and figuring my life out. Yeah, I figure ten years is long enough. Time to get the hell out. :)
So.
The Last Home Year. I came up with that phrase my senior year of high school when I was taping music from WAMH...it would be the last year I was home before college, and these radio tapes would be sort of a final goodbye to life in Athol as far as I knew.
So.
The Last Home Year.
Second time's the charm, as they say. Let's hope so.
no subject
no subject
BTW, I just got the old credit card bill and decided that not buying stuff is probably a good idea for me also at the moment.....
no subject
Oh, and my first temptation at buying things: Slacker comes out on DVD tomorrow, as does Porcupine Tree's reissue of 'Signify.' I'm going to see how long I can hold out... (Okay, let me back that one up--I've been buying cds and whatnot on release days for the last few years. Not buying it tomorrow would be a big step for me!)
no subject
I went through a period in college where I was buying CDs like a madwoman--I had tons of stuff sitting around in the wrappers, but very time I went to the record store I would weaken and get something else. So around the time I graduated I decided to go cold turkey--to not even GO INTO a music store until I had myself evened out financially. And I stuck to it for nearly 2 years. I think I need to make a vow like this again, and (oh goddess, can I really type this....)I need to include bookstores this time too. I currently have enough new, unread books piled on the floor at the end of my bed to build a complete scale model of Stonehenge, and those are just the ones that didn't fit on the shelves....And add to that all the CDs which likewise do not currently have shelf space. Too much is enough, I say!
So here it goes: NO MORE BOOKS OR CDs will I purchase until further notice. Excelsior!!
no subject
buh...wha...
Wow.
Just...wow. Wish I had that stamina. ;)
Seriously, I think I may just do the same. I probably won't go cold turkey, but I certainly won't be buying ungodly amounts of stuff like I used to.
no subject
Appropos of nothing it just struck me: you said you moved home in 1995; strangely enough, that's the same year I moved out of my parents' house for good and all. I don't know why I need to mention this, it just seemed synchronicitous.
no subject
Well, I think the main thing that will keep me from buying cds is the fact that I'm listening to Launchcast almost every day now. That, and I let my subscription to Ice Magazine (the best listing for new releases) lapse. I think I can cut down on music easily enough, maybe buy one or two every now and again. And I only stop at bookstores maybe once a month and even then I only buy two or three books.
By the way, Tamara Siler Jones' book comes out Oct 26 and Wen's latest Ukiah book is in November. WOOOOT! :D
Now if I can just lay off the junk food I snarf on while writing...
no subject
And in the intervening time my parents moved to flippin' Louisiana, so "going home" stopped being an option, since, you know, it wasn't there anymore. It's a heck of a motivator!
And DARN YOU for reminding me, I will have to break my vow and get those 2 books you mentioned(and not just because the authors were so nice). BTW, if you hear from Tamara, tell her that not only did I pass on the bookmarks she gave me to a bookseller friend (rtrockel), but I told him all about the book and extracted promises from him tpo cross-market it in SF and Mystery.
no subject
Will tell Tamara about that! :) She'll be thrilled.
no subject